Things that have probably been said at Caffe Strada

Ketki Samel /Staff

If you’ve never spent an afternoon just relaxing at Caffe Strada with some friends, you’re truly missing out. The ambience makes you feel like you are not in Berkeley, and for a few moments, you can forget about your looming midterm. It is the perfect place to chill with loved ones, and the environment is conducive to interesting conversations.  If any of these conversations have ever taken place at Caffe Strada, the Clog would not be surprised.

“I once dated someone who dabbed whenever we made out.”

In case you forgot, dabbing is, as Wikipedia puts it, “a gesture of triumph and playfulness” that became super popular among the laity in 2015. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view), it has largely disappeared from mainstream youth culture. However, there are still some diehard dabbers out there in the world, if you know how to find them. There are somewhat appropriate uses for the gesture — dabbing during a party can be funny, and dabbing while sneezing can offer a lighthearted act of physical comedy, but while kissing a significant other? Hard pass.

“I was prom king in high school, so I am pretty much a big deal.”

No. You are not. High school is over, and literally nothing you did matters (unless you cured cancer or singlehandedly rebuilt an entire city destroyed by a natural disaster). If you ever hear someone bragging about something as asinine as receiving a plastic crown on an arbitrarily chosen spring evening, they have a 100 percent chance of being a narcissist and, possibly, a jerk. To be honest, anyone who was prom king probably peaked in high school.

“How did I even get into Berkeley?”

Hey, you belong here. We all wonder at some point if we made a terrible decision coming here, but in general, Berkeley chose you for a reason.

” ‘High School Musical 2′ will be remembered as our generation’s greatest contribution to cinema.”

Is “High School Musical” really that great a franchise? Yes. Is the second installment a cinematic masterpiece? Also yes. Who could forget Gabriella’s heartbreaking rendition of “Gotta Go My Own Way” or Chad and Ryan’s beautiful song-and-dance routine about how Chad does not dance or sing? If you have no idea what we are talking about, did you even have a childhood? (Spoiler alert: Troy Bolton ends up at UC Berkeley, so in a way, we all have a little “Wildcat” in each of us).

“Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Oski the Wise?”

It is perfectly conceivable that a group of drunk college students gathered under the warmth of one of Caffe Strada’s outdoor heaters one night may construct an original Sith legend about Darth Oski. But would Oski the Sith Lord really be any scarier than he already is?

The Clog is so original and full of quality content.”

We could not agree more. The Clog (and The Daily Californian at large) is the glue that holds the UC Berkeley campus together.

The next time you want to have an interesting hypothetical conversation with someone, consider doing so over a cup of coffee at Caffe Strada.

Contact Edrick Sabalburo at [email protected].