If “Hamilton” characters went to UC Berkeley

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Kathleen Gao/Staff

They’re only 19, but their minds are older and as these Berkeley streets get colder, they’ll shoulder every burden and every disadvantage they’ve learned to manage. Midterms have them feeling helpless and writing like they’re running out of time, but they won’t take a break.

They’re the beloved characters of “Hamilton,” and we here at the Clog have often wondered what they’d be doing if they went to UC Berkeley (even though we all know that these true historical figures existed and were educated, one can dream right?). Would they be passionately smashing everyone’s expectations in their classes? Would Lafayette tutor French students and protest the administration in his free time? Would the Schuyler sisters also be sorority sisters? Would you find Hamilton and his friends taking shots every weekend at Kip’s? The possibilities are endless, so we’ve imagined everyone’s favorite Founding Fathers (and Mothers) as UC Berkeley students.

Alexander Hamilton

An outspoken and passionate student, Hamilton would probably be seen at every protest and be well-known for his inflammatory op-eds for The Daily Californian. He’s a political science and economics major, a member of every organization he could get into and takes 20 units every semester. Dying to be in the “room where it happens,” he’d leave the Daily Cal (sad) and run for ASUC Senate, which he’d win but then have trouble with re-election due to his problematic term. He often frequents bars around Berkeley every weekend with his best friends Marquis Lafayette, John Laurens and Hercules Mulligan.

Angelica Schuyler

As a student who’s never satisfied with how women and people of color are treated, she’s double majoring in Gender and Women’s Studies and Ethnic Studies. She’s often found at protests with her sisters and participates in the “Vagina Monologues.” She’s always at Caffe Strada with a friend, debating with them about current events or trying to keep up with all the readings for her classes.

Aaron Burr

Aaron Burr is an intelligent legal studies major, a member of the pre-law fraternity and also involved in the ASUC. He doesn’t go to protests and prefers to work behind the scenes. You can probably find him waiting in the advising line in Sproul Hall or waiting in the line for Crossroads. He also always seems to find himself on the waitlist for his most important classes, but it’s cool because he’s willing to “wait for it.”

Thomas Jefferson

You know that one kid who’s in your discussion section and pretentiously throws around unnecessary information just to hear themselves talk? Yeah, that’s Thomas Jefferson. He’s a self-assured political science major who just got back from his semester abroad in Paris, France. Jefferson runs to be an ASUC Senator and often goes head-to-head with Alexander in meetings, on the campaign trail and during debates.

Eliza Schuyler

Eliza is a kind and service-oriented student who’s majoring in public health. She thinks that San Francisco is the “greatest city in the world,” and her Instagram account is mostly filled with aesthetic pictures she took on her many weekend trips to the city with her friends. She tutors students at different Berkeley schools and at the SLC in her free time, and she’s also a member of many service organizations.

George Washington

George Washington would be a history major and a part of the Army ROTC. He is good friends with Hamilton and Jefferson and often worries about how polarizing their political ideologies have become throughout the years. He often works as a mediator between the two. You can probably find him in one of the stately reading rooms in Doe, with the ROTC or leading one of the clubs he’s the president of.

Philip Hamilton

He’s the child of Alexander and Eliza and was raised in a fiercely “Cal” household, so he’s been a Golden Bear ever since he can remember. Influenced by his mother’s French lessons, he’d be majoring in French. He’s a frat boy who’s always looking to follow in his father’s footsteps, so he tries to join as many clubs as he can. He takes any insult to Greek life and his fraternity brothers very seriously and is willing to get into fights over their honor.

No matter if you agree with our analysis or not, we can all agree that the “Hamilton” characters would “blow us all away” with their passion and drive here at school.

Contact Sunny Sichi at [email protected].