Oski’s retirement: The dawn of a new era

mhoops-oski_-marcus-gedai_file
Marcus Gedai/File

A letter from the Oski Committee:

Dear students,

In recent years, it has become apparent that our current mascot, Oski, scares people. To be honest, we would be remiss to suggest that he has never scared us. Oski is just plain creepy. However, our institution has spent decades fighting to keep this UC Berkeley icon alive. Today, we end that futile movement.

We find that it is in the best interest of the UC Berkeley community that we terminate Oski’s status as school mascot, effective immediately. We have thought long and hard about this decision. We understand that the distaste felt for Oski was not universal and do not intend to offend those who hold him in high esteem, particularly the cults which have sprung up on campus who venerate Oski as their champion.

In his place, we have unanimously elected a new mascot: Kitty the Puppy. We feel that the ironic nature of Kitty the Puppy best exhibits the virtues of UC Berkeley: she is a fundamentally contradictory character. The irony of her name suggests that on some level, we are all contradictory, that we are all too complex to be assigned any single definition. As far as Kitty’s physical traits, she has unnecessarily large glasses, a satchel of books, and vibrantly colored hair. To pay homage to our Oski heritage, Kitty will always be seen wearing a Golden Bears hoodie and when the weather permits, she will swap her pair of Birkenstocks for an equally stylish pair of Crocs. Kitty’s breed type has yet to be determined (perhaps Kitty the Puppy is not even a dog at all).

We understand that many of you reading this may still be heartbroken for Oski. Rest assured, however, that this decision was not made unilaterally. Oski was brought into the conversation and was part of this process throughout. He will be issuing his own statement shortly, but for now, be secure in the knowledge that, “After serving this community for so many years, (Oski is) ready to let someone else have the honor of being the hero of UC Berkeley.”

While we look forward to this new era in our school’s history, we would like to acknowledge that Oski may not have been the mascot we wanted, but he remains the mascot we deserve.

Sincerely,

The Oski Committee  

Contact Edrick Sabalburo at [email protected].

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  • I_h8_disqus

    By “she” we expect Kitty is a pre op trans. Kitty will not be seen at games, because she is the first mascot to not support the inherent violence that is competitive sports. Instead she will be down on Sproul handing out participation ribbons to all.

  • Donald Reagan

    Good. Oski touched me inappropriately under the bleachers at orientation.

  • all hail the creepiest mascot in college atheletics history

  • Gloria Bath

    This has got to be a joke. CAL ’04

    • svendlarose

      This is clearly, actually a joke. I’m autistic and even I can tell this is a joke. Cal ’10 the first time, ’20 upon readmission to this coming fall