Ways to (not technically) bribe your GSI if you’re broke

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We’re all fighting for good grades here and any small advantage is welcome. Even though getting on your GSI’s good side shouldn’t affect your grade, it won’t hurt it either. The problem is, most college students are broke and can’t afford some of the more compelling methods or persuasion. This guide will give you some low-cost options that will still grab your grader’s attention.

Give them an apple

This is a classic teacher’s pet move, and it sends a clear message — please like me.

Write a song

It’s not that strange for people to write a song about an inspiring figure in their lives, and in this case that figure has to be your GSI. If you’re musically talented, or even if you aren’t, a personal song is a tried and true method of gaining someone’s favor.

Clap for them

Your GSI goes through countless examples with you, and they usually get them right. Most GSIs likely feel unappreciated when they properly explain a concept. Clapping for them when they’ve done something helpful might get you some extra partial credit points (or at least some brownie points).

Sculpt them

Get yourself some clay and a detailed picture of your instructor, and let your hands do the rest. These types of gestures remind your GSI that you’re thinking about them, and that they should think about you too when your test is being graded.

Teach them something

GSIs are used to teaching you the material, so it will be a refreshing and memorable change of pace if you teach them something instead. Whatever your area of expertise is, if you teach your GSI something useful, they might feel like they owe you one.

Figure out their family history

If ancestry shows like “Who Do You Think You Are?” and “Finding Your Roots” have proven anything, it’s that people feel extremely appreciative and thankful toward the researcher who figures out their family history. These are also the feelings you’re trying to get your GSI to feel toward you, so visit ancestry.com and start delving into your GSI’s ancestral tree.

Dress like them

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then your GSI will be blown away when you show up to section dressed in their exact outfit every time. How you go about figuring out their fashion choices is entirely up to you.

If you can’t afford old-fashioned persuasion techniques, then these ideas should help you regardless of your bank balance. While none of them are proven to work, we’re in an environment where everyone is looking for an edge, and you just got seven of them.

Contact Ryan Melvin at [email protected].