Just in case there’s any of you who haven’t noticed, the world is in a very strange place at the moment. But nothing in the past couple of years has been stranger than Donald Trump – you know, the guy who hosted “The Apprentice” and owns the most obnoxious buildings in America – being elected president. Could things get any weirder? Of course they can, people such as Mark Zuckerberg, Kanye West, Mark Cuban, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Oprah Winfrey have all mentioned or suggested their desire to run for president next year. We can only imagine this list will grow longer between now and 2020, so we at the Clog have some suggestions for who should compete for the Oval Office next term.
In the last few years, DJ Khaled has made quite the comeback in terms of having hit songs on the charts again, as well as being a social media icon. At this rate, there’s no reason to think he couldn’t make a bid for 2020. He has the kind of speeches that could motivate UC Berkeley students to successfully finish the semester, and we’d never have to worry about any secrecy because he would Snapchat everything that goes down in the White House. Plus, we’re sure Jay and Bey would be stoked to have presidential dinners again.
Eric Andre is beloved for his radical, “gives-no-effs” attitude. While perhaps that’s part of what got Trump elected last fall, the difference is that Andre has proven himself as someone who the people can sympathize with. The hilarious video of him crashing the Republican National Convention with his consistent critique and satire of the modern-day political climate has let his fans know that despite his crazy antics, he’s on their side. With President Andre and VP Hannibal Buress in the White House, the only downside is that he’s guaranteed to break that presidential desk.
Hey girl, could you see Ryan Gosling running for president in 2020? It might not be as much of a stretch as you think. Throughout his acting career, R-Gos has shown that he has presidential skills. He’s no stranger to political debates (“The Ides of March”), he knows a thing or two about the economy (“The Big Short”), he lets his actions speak louder than his words (“Drive”), he has a good sense of humor (“The Nice Guys”), and he has big dreams for himself (“La La Land”). The city of Washington, D.C., may very well shine just for him.
Our beloved Oski has proudly represented UC Berkeley and served us well since 1941. Now that we’re back on top as the No. 1 public university in the world, maybe it’s time for Oski to follow his wildest dreams of living in the White House. We students and faculty would miss him dearly, but fortunately Oski Jr. was raised by one of the best papa-bears there is and could bring Golden Bear spirit to any event necessary. I mean, we gotta prove that we’re ahead of UCLA once and for all somehow.
If we’re being real here, we really just want more of those Obama-Biden bromance memes.
We sure hope that these five are brushing up on their debate skills for the next term.
Contact Doug Smith at [email protected].