Exclusive: An interview with a Thanksgiving turkey

interview turkey thanksgiving
Ameena Golding/Staff

DAILY CLOG EXCLUSIVE!

Turkey Day is here, and we at the Daily Clog had the most amazing opportunity to interview a Thanksgiving turkey, Steve, before his final moments as a feathery friend. Here’s what he had to say:

Daily Clog (DC): What has been your favorite memory as a turkey?

Steve the turkey (S): Well, I really enjoyed brunching with my gal pals, you know? We had to wake up super early in the morning to get the good corn. The struggle was always worth it, though. We were stuffed by the time the rest of the turkeys woke up.

DC: Did you ever imagine yourself becoming a Thanksgiving turkey?

S: Oh no! This is a wonderful opportunity that I’m extremely thankful for! HAH! See what I did there? But yeah, it’s crazy to think that all of my hard work is finally paying off! I always feared of becoming one of those turkeys that gym rats eat to “get swoll.”

DC: Haha, that’s great, Steve. Now, tell us about how you hope to be dressed for Thanksgiving.

S: I could go on and on about this. I really hope to be bathed in a bath of broth amongst carrots, onions and celery for a few hours. I also wish to be covered in a thick gravy that accentuates my legs. I mean, that’s the dream for every turkey, right?

DC: You heard it here, folks! Steve wants the gravy. What would you be doing right now if you weren’t going to be a Thanksgiving turkey?

S: I would be resting up! These feathers don’t glow themselves! Sleep is key to success in the turkey industry. That’s why everyone gets sleepy after eating us on Thanksgiving!

DC: Are you sure that’s not just food coma?

S: Listen, as a turkey, I am a turkey expert. I think I know what I’m talking about.

DC: How did you celebrate Thanksgiving before you got selected?

S: My friends and I would all run in the Turkey Trot that’s organized by Farmer Brown. He really cares about our health and athletic ability! It was always fun to see how far I could run before collapsing. We were rewarded with extra food at the end of the day.

DC: Aww, that’s nice! You guys had your own little Thanksgiving dinner!

S: Yeah! They were always very enjoyable! I just wish we had more of a selection of food like you humans have. Farmer Brown’s house always smells so good on Thanksgiving.

DC: Do you have any last words before you go?

S: Yes, pineapple doesn’t go on pizza.

Well, there you have it. An interview with Steve the turkey. This interview reminds us all that with every Thanksgiving dinner comes a turkey and, within every turkey, is a personality. Just remember, if you get Steve this Thanksgiving, coat him generously with gravy.

Contact Malvika Singhal at [email protected].

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