An ugly sweater is a classic component of the holiday season. Typical sweaters depict festive patterns, snowmen, tree ornaments and anything else that can overwhelm you with holiday spirit. But this season, instead of getting your friends another generic holiday garment, perhaps you can try to find a more personal gift. Each major deserves a different type of sweater to feel appropriately represented, and we’ve compiled a catalog of a few common majors with corresponding sweaters to get you started.
No tree is complete without garland, and no garland doesn’t kind of look like a DNA double helix. Knit your bioengineering friend a common Christmas tree sweater, but adorn it with DNA strands to create a sweater they might actually be proud to own.
Your film friend’s favorite holiday movie is not any one of Tim Allen’s “Santa Clause” productions or Queen Latifah’s “The Last Holiday.” It’s likely something you’ve never heard of before, like “Beyond Tomorrow” or Canada’s “Mon oncle Antoine.” So go on IMDb, find the most independent sounding holiday movie by title, and write a quote from the movie on the sweater, like this one from “Mon oncle Antoine”: “Damn this lousy clutch!” You won’t know what you’re talking about, but your friend and all their film pals will.
Many holiday sweaters, for those who celebrate Christmas, depict religious images, like the holy cross. Other things that sometimes cross are supply and demand curves. Find your economics pal a normal sweater with a cross, then label one line “supply” and the other line “demand.” Don’t forget to define the intersection as the equilibrium price of Christianity.
Your most eco-friendly buddy is probably not interested in a sweater associated with a holiday that cuts down trees, wastes energy with decorative lights and uses obscene amounts of wrapping paper. Nor do they want more warm clothes as they study the effects of climate change. Instead, get your friend a nice, light sweater with removable sleeves to aid them in their battle against global warming.
If there’s two things EECS students are known for, it’s not showering and avoiding social interactions. To address the first issue, choose a breathable fabric. The second issue takes more effort. Family members are obligated to rain down all the typical questions during the holidays, such as “are you in a relationship” or “what’s your plan for after you graduate?” Instead of being forced to interact socially, help your friend out by anticipating the questions they’ll be asked and writing the answers on the sweater.
A surefire way to ruin a family meal during the holidays is by bringing up politically divisive subjects. Unfortunately, politically divisive subjects are almost exclusively what political science students want to talk about. This sweater idea has a large red circle in the middle that’s labeled, “Press this and I’ll stop talking.” This is more of a gift to your friend’s family members than it is to your friend.
A great holiday sweater is both ugly and expresses something personal about its wearer. With these sweater concepts, your friends will think you put a lot of thought into their gift, even though all you did was read this article. And for the majors not listed, we’re sure you get the idea by now, so get creative!
Contact Ryan Melvin at [email protected].