The secret life of your resident assistants during winter break

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Nicole White/File

You’re probably looking forward to getting out of Berkeley anyway, but there’s a good reason for which your resident assistants want you out as soon as possible once you wrap up your finals: Once we’re all gone, the party finally starts for them. Your RAs remain mysterious throughout the semester, and we may never really know what goes on while we’re gone for winter break. But hey, we at the Clog are more than willing to speculate about what ensues during our absence.

Silent disco

Your RAs have probably been pretty adamant about keeping the noise level to a minimum, but surely they like to have fun, too! Once the halls are evacuated, they kick off the week with Mash-Up Monday, then proceed into Techno Tuesday, Woogie Wednesday, Throwback Thursday and Funky Friday. Those who aren’t totally sore and don’t celebrate Christmas might partake in Seventies Saturday and Soulful Sunday.

Work as Christmas elves

Everyone knows that Christmas elves aren’t a real thing. But, what the Clog suspects is … maybe they are. In fact, they may be operating as such and making toys for all the children without us having any idea of it. We are the No. 1 public university in the world (depending on who you ask), so surely we’re on Santa’s radar. Stick around long enough and you just might see Santa’s secret workshop in full operation in Martinez!

Play the most epic game of hide-and-seek ever

After a brutal week of finals, we all need to unleash our playful sides a little bit. Combining that with the amount of open space on campus, why wouldn’t the RAs have a massive hide-and-seek game? Given that each residence hall varies in shape and size, it would be even better if the RAs of each building teamed up and utilized all of the residence halls in a hide-and-seek game that may not even conclude until we return.

Rent out the dorm rooms on Airbnb

We young students will take advantage of any opportunity to make a quick buck whenever we can. With all these empty rooms at the RAs’ disposal, why wouldn’t they rent them out to people looking to celebrate the holidays in the Bay Area but who aren’t particularly excited about San Francisco hotel rates? Our RAs just might be providing the perfect holiday getaway, true college-kid style.

So, what are our RAs up to while we’re gone? We may never know (although they probably just go back home like the rest of us).

Contact Doug Smith at [email protected].