18 bold predictions the Clog has for the new year

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Tony Zhou/File

One thing that hasn’t changed at the start of this year is your dose of the Clog and our bold predictions. While 2017 kind of sucked for pretty much all of us, we have a feeling that this year’s going to be much better. New year, new us, right? Without further ado, here’s a list of our bold predictions for this year:

  1. We’d just like to put it out there that we get a weird feeling around prime numbers. 2017 is a prime number and 2018 isn’t, so in general 2018 has just got to be a better year.
  2. Oski will get a makeover. Maybe he’ll finally replace that fitted yet oversized cardigan. No matter what, we love you Oski!
  3. UC Berkeley will win the Big Game. Repeat after us: We. Are. Winners.
  4. Another building on campus will be renovated. The only question that remains is: Which building will be the next victim?
  5. Squirrels will finally give students the right of way when crossing the wild streets of Berkeley.
  6. We’ll discover the entrance to ex-Chancellor Dirks’ secret tunnel.
  7. UC Berkeley students will have to say au revoir to another on-campus dining place — just pray it’s the GBC.
  8. AirBears2 will be the strongest wifi on campus, accessible from every nook and cranny.
  9. Students will stop thinking of Moffitt Library as their only place to breathe, sleep and eat.
  10. There’ll be no line for the weight room on the first day back from break. All those New Year’s resolution students will discover Memorial Stadium Fitness Center and go there instead.
  11. Random schools won’t try replacing us as the No. 1 public university in the world.
  12. Chancellor Christ will kick butt.
  13. Caffe Strada will increase its prices. It hurts us to say this, but we think it’ll be true.
  14. A faculty member will receive a Nobel Prize award.
  15. La Burrita will expand its locations around campus and won’t feel overshadowed by Taco Bell anymore.
  16. Berkeley weather will finally stabilize and you won’t have to carry around an umbrella in June.
  17. The 51B will always arrive exactly on time.
  18. The Clog will be your go-to source of entertainment this year.

We have a good feeling about this year, Bears! Make it a good one.

Avanti Mehrotra is the blog editor. Contact Avanti Mehrotra at [email protected].