Why croissants are the best things since sliced bread

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Ketki Samel/Staff

They’re light brown, layered with butter, flaky and always there for you. They’re offered at almost every cafe on and around campus, so they’re always there for you when you need a little pick-me-up. They’re croissants, and today is National Croissant Day, a day that everyone who can eat gluten should know about and celebrate. We could probably go on about how wonderful croissants are for days, but that’s longer than we’re allowed for one Clog article. Instead, we decided to make a comprehensive yet pithy list of reasons why croissants are the best things since sliced bread.

They’re the right kind of flaky

We all know what the wrong kind of flaky is. That kind of flaky describes your friends when they don’t show up to something you’ve planned and don’t let you know until you’ve been waiting for an hour. But croissants would never let you down like this. Not only do they have a beautiful buttery flaky texture, but they’re nearly always available for you to buy. Whether it be GBC, FSM or any other abbreviated cafe on campus, when you’re having a craving, you’re no more than five minutes away from the flaky goodness. So ditch the friends who ditch you, and go for these flaky little pastries that would never skip out on you.

Croissants are perfect for any meal

Breakfast? Yes. Brunch? Yes. Lunch? Yes. Afternoon snack — well, you get the gist. They’re the perfect quick meal, but you can also make them into a sandwich or have them as a side. You can order a basket of them for brunch at La Note, or you can grab a quick one from Micro Yali’s before lecture in VLSB. Honestly, is there anything croissants can’t do?

They’re the “avocado” of pastry memes and Vines

Croissants are included in some of the funniest videos we’ve ever watched, so we’ve left the links here for your enjoyment. And as much as we love the “fresh avocado” Vine, we think these videos are a little funnier. We aren’t sure how a poor man nearly dropping his croissant or Tom Holland mispronouncing “croissant” is so funny, but it just is. What food other than avocados and croissants have such quality content made about them?  

It’s fun pronouncing “croissant” in French

If you watched the previous video of Carl Wheezer from “Jimmy Neutron,” you’ll get why this is funny. It’s a bit of a shock to the system when you walk into your first day of French class ever and hear your professor say “cwasont” like they’re choking up saliva. Give it a go! Once you start pronouncing it as the French do, you’ll find that you can’t stop.

They’re versatile

Croissants can be sweet or savory, and are perfectly so with all the grace of a million professional ballerinas. There are plain croissants, chocolate croissants, almond croissants, ham and cheese croissants and so many more. There’s legitimately a croissant for every mood. Sad about failing a midterm? Eat a chocolate croissant. Stressed about an interview? Scarf down a plain croissant. Overly excited about writing an article about croissants? Eat an almond croissant. 

So, the moral of the story is that croissants are multifaceted treats that deserve all the hype they get and more. What we did to deserve them, we’ll never know. But what we do know is that you, dear reader, need to go out right now and treat yourself to a croissant of your choosing. Happy National Croissant Day, Bears!

Contact Sunny Sichi at [email protected].