As January comes to a close, it’s time to look toward the rest of the semester and address what’s been on everybody’s mind: Which outfits will you be sporting this spring?
The fashion industry makes millions of clothing items and pollutes tons just by making you feel like you’re not cute enough. So let’s continue that mindset of consumerism and look at some outfit ideas so you can show everyone just how cute you can be!
Yes, this exists. Forever 21 knew what we wanted and provided it. Now you can wear a hot sauce packet as a one-piece and the Taco Bell logo on a windbreaker. What other blessings may be bestowed upon us?
Let’s all stop playing games. Why are we pretending we like wearing skinny jeans all day when we definitely don’t? Just imagine how comfy you’d be rocking red flannel pj’s to your 8 a.m. lecture. It would be so much easier to fall asleep.
This is a request. Whoever you are, Oski, it would be so cool (and probably really creepy) to sit next to you in lecture. If you’re not down, maybe just let one of your friends wear your headpiece to class. Let us know. Thanks.
Heck yes, rollerblades are part of an outfit! Imagine yourself rolling down Bancroft Way with the wind in your hair and the wheels on your feet. You’d finally make it to class on time. You’d be the envy of your friends. What more could you ask for?
Don’t forget to celebrate the holidays by dressing up! We’ve got Groundhog Day, Valentine’s Day, Presidents’ Day and even St. Patrick’s Day coming up, and who would you be if you didn’t remember to throw on some green for St. Patty’s day? Someone with a lot of pinch marks, that’s who.
Jean shorts. They run rampant in places like Sydney, Australia and Europe, and it’s time to bring them to the U.S. For too long we’ve been constrained by full-length jeans. Let’s break free.
Like your professor
It’s still early enough in the semester to start observing your professor’s fashion choices. Then, you can copy said fashion choices, show up to class dressed like your professor and thoroughly freak them out. If you’re lucky, someone might mistake you for the professor and you can get a free apple or something.
With all of these incredible options, it may be hard to choose. Just try to remember that your worth as a human being depends solely on your fashion choices. Good luck out there!
Contact Hailey Johnson at [email protected].