Students who are lucky enough to have an 8 a.m. at Etcheverry Hall may have noticed something peculiar on the north side of campus. Every day, a perfect pile of unpeeled peanuts is placed at North Gate. Since our office is located just north of campus, members of The Daily Californian have taken note. So they sent the best department to investigate — here’s what the Clog found.
First, we observed the pile for week, noting any significant changes to it. The peanut pile is replenished every day except Sunday. We couldn’t deduce the exact time the pile is restocked, but we can say for sure that it’s stocked sometime before 7:46 a.m.
A local amateur cyclist said: “I see the peanut pile right here every day during my morning bike ride. … Except for Sundays, of course.”
After checking on the pile once every hour on the hour, we were able to determine that the pile is gone or mostly gone by 4 p.m. We don’t know what happens to all the peanuts, but eyewitnesses report that at least some of the peanuts are taken by squirrels. A smaller but not insignificant portion of the pile is poached by students.
We contacted UCPD to see if the department had any more information on the matter. An officer who has been tasked with overseeing the investigation to find the origins of the peanut pile offered the following comment:
“The matter of the North Gate peanut pile is high on the UCPD’s priority list. We were made aware of the issue on Jan. 13, and we have had our best officers investigating the matter ever since. I cannot disclose what we have found thus far, but I can say that our prime directive is to ensure the safety of all students and wildlife on campus. If you have information regarding the source of these peanuts, the university is prepared to offer you 400 meal points.”
The Clog’s own investigation has pointed us in a direction that indicates that an underground campus organization is leaving the peanuts at North Gate as an elaborate ruse to discredit the university. This theory came about on the fourth day of our investigation, when a Daily Cal staff member noticed a note underneath the pile that read simply, “This school is nutz.”
Aside from this, no leads have surfaced regarding the peanut pile, but the Clog will publish more information on this case as it develops.
Contact Edrick Sabalburo at [email protected].