Quiz: Which UC Berkeley hottie should you take on a date?

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Caragh McErlean/Senior Staff

Valentine’s Day can be quite the bummer if you don’t have that special someone to buy roses and chocolate for you or take you out on that extravagant date to Chez Panisse. Maybe you’re still getting over that crush on that cute classmate from freshman year or you’ve exhausted all of your Tinder options. Either way, we feel your pain and are fully prepared to take off our Clog hats (or rather, our clogs) and swap them for our matchmaking ones. So, if you’re still looking for someone to spend your V-Day with besides your sad, lonely self, take this quiz and we’ll set you up with one of our favorite UC Berkeley hotties.

  1. What do you look for in a significant other?
    1. A true love for education
    2. Money
    3. Hands perpetually clothed in white gloves
    4. Mystery
  2. What’s your favorite type of footwear?
    1. Classy ballerina flats
    2. Ugly dad sandals
    3. UC Berkeley-themed basketball shoes (#notsponsored)
    4. Clogs ;)
  3. If you could take your date out anywhere, where would you take them?
    1. A lively UC Board of Regents meeting on a Monday night
    2. The bank
    3. Haas Pavillion
    4. Bongo Burger on Northside
  4. Which course of study would you prefer your date to be pursuing?
    1. Education Studies
    2. Malpractice in Education Studies
    3. How to Not Actually Look Like a Bear Studies
    4. Alternatively Factual Journalism Studies
  5. What’s your favorite way to celebrate Valentine’s Day?
    1. Discussing tuition fees over a nice candlelit dinner
    2. Misusing public funds with my date
    3. Cheering on Cal and taking selfies with strangers during a basketball game
    4. Taking a trip to the local Crocs store
  6. Valentine’s Day chocolate of choice?
    1. Raspberry-filled dark chocolate
    2. Drugstore chocolate heart box
    3. Hershey’s Bar
    4. Cappuccino truffles
    1. Chancellor Carol T. Christ. You both have a true love for all things school and are sure to form a lasting connection over it. You’re old-fashioned, especially when it comes to your style, and like Carol T. Christ, enjoy serious deliberations about life, practically 24/7. Clearly, it’s meant to be.
    2. Nicholas Dirks. Oh, Dirks. Who can forget this charming fellow? You love a rule-breaker (and a killer unibrow too). Getting into trouble is the name of your game, and you can’t say you don’t have a thing for money. It’s obviously a match made in heaven.
    3. Oski. You love a big ol’ teddy bear, even if they bear (yes, pun intended) almost zero resemblance to one. You love UC Berkeley with all of your heart and also own a splendid yellow cardigan once owned by a man who attended UC Berkeley back in the ’50s. Surely, your love will last forever.
    4. The Clog. We’re single AF, and clearly you are too, so let’s do this thing. While we unfortunately can never reveal our true identity to you, we do have the words to make up for it. (Maybe we’ll even write an “ode” to you someday). Maybe we’re just a lonely inanimate clog sitting behind a computer, or maybe we’re a really smart AI system, like Alexa or Siri, but hotter. Either way, our love is written in the stars.

Chloe Lelchuk is the assistant blog editor. Contact Chloe Lelchuk at [email protected].

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