We all find ourselves in uncomfortable situations from time to time. For some of us, life is, in fact, one miserable series of awkward moments. It’s nothing to feel bad about, but when the awkwardness is too high and you’re in desperate need of an out, having a stock of foolproof excuses isn’t a bad idea. Whether you’re trying to slip out of unwanted plans or back away from an unfortunate conversation, below are some of our favorite — tested and verified — emergency excuses.
- Yeah, no, sorry. I actually have to go water my plants.
- I’d love to hang out, but I realized that I forgot to stretch today.
- That’s really cool and all, but have you heard the Naked Brothers Band’s latest album?
- Oh, yikes — didn’t get my flu shot, so I really shouldn’t.
- My spice cabinet isn’t going to reorganize itself.
- I’m actually heading to church — my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ expects nothing less on Mondays.
- Come to think of it, my religion doesn’t approve of our friendship.
- Dinner sounds nice, but I’m really trying to save myself for marriage.
- My mom wants me home by 9:30.
- My roommate wants me home by 9:30.
- My RA wants me home by 9:30.
- I really would come, but I gotta catch up on tax deductions.
- I’m really enjoying this conversation, but I feel like I should give others the chance to know you instead.
- I actually have really strong feelings against Thai food, so I’m gonna pass.
- I really can’t be late to my Chem-E study review. I’m supplying the yerba mate.
- I really can’t be late to this pregame. I’m supplying the yerba mate.
- I completely forgot I left a load in the washer. Better move it before someone else does.
- I think someone just paged me.
- I think someone just faxed me.
- I actually really should check my mailbox right about now.
- Totally wish I could, but I’ve got like three Bar Mitzvahs this weekend. #Cheers to the middle school years, right?
As you’ll see, the best excuses are often the most obvious. Nobody’s going to question your commitment to religious rituals, and you can be sure that each of these responses is 100 percent comfortable and appropriate.
Contact Shaked Salem at [email protected].