Quiz: Which famous and beautiful Chris is your movie boo?

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Isabelle Doerschlag/Staff

It’s happened to us all. You’ve found yourself seated in a crowded movie theater and the lights go dim. All you were intending to do that Friday night was enjoy your popcorn and the latest superhero film, but as the trailers roll, you are suddenly met with a beautiful man on the screen with piercing eyes and a gentle soul. By the time the trailer has ended, you find yourself in a daze. “Who was that?” you whisper to your film companion, but all they say is, “Shh, I’m trying to watch the movie.”

If this has happened to you, you’ve found yourself in the company of a Chris. “Which Chris?” you might implore. Was it Hemsworth? Evans? Pratt? “It might have been Pine,” we warn you, and you’re thrown into greater disarray. It can be confusing to figure out which Chris it was that captivated your heart, but with this quiz, you might have a chance of figuring out which Chris is meant to be your movie boo.

  1. First of all: What’s the most important quality in a partner?

    1. Humor — they might play dumb, but they’re quick with the one-liners that’ll have you falling over yourself laughing.
    2. Intelligence — you might actually get around to reading this year’s Pulitzer prize winner so you can keep up when they talk nerdy to you.
    3. Kindness — they may look like a dude-bro, but you saw the way they nursed that litter of baby kittens back to health. Meow.
    4. Respect — above all, they want to take things at your speed and you know they won’t get mad when you get busy working your grind.
  2. What aesthetic do you find most attractive in a significant other? 
    1. Your next-door neighbor who’s always working on outdoor projects that go hilariously wrong.
    2. That cute, perpetually single, scruffy librarian who always has an air of melancholy about them.
    3. The hot surfer you ran into at Whole Foods who shows you how to find the right avocados.
    4. Adorable certified mama’s child whom you know your own mom is probably going to like better than you.
  3. If you were going on a dream vacation with your ideal Chris, where would you go?
    1. Hawaii — windsurfing and taking his Range Rover out to see some hidden waterfalls!
    2. London — British museum, Globe Theatre and maybe go up in the London Eye at sunset.
    3. Australia — two words: dune buggies (a day out in the desert followed by a night under the stars).
    4. New York — the classic date: dinner and a show. (Can you really say no to Broadway?)
  4. What foods do you imagine yourself getting with your Chris?
    1. Cheeseburger and fries — Can’t go wrong with this classic or the fact that it’s probably eaten in a diner at 2 a.m.
    2. Pasta and a salad — Feels like a grown-up date, with a white tablecloth, candles, judgmental waiter and everything.
    3. Surf and turf — Nothing sexier than seafood and rare, chewy red meat. Pass the iced crustacean please. 
    4.  Pizza — OK, you can’t go wrong with pizza. So what if you get into an all-out shouting match over Chicago style vs. New York? That’s perfectly normal. 
  5. What guilty-pleasure movie can you picture yourself watching with your Chris?
    1. A classic thriller such as “Jaws” or “Jurassic Park”! 
    2. A romantic comedy such as “The Princess Diaries 2” or “Just My Luck”!
    3. A spinoff on a classic tale such as “Snow White and the Huntsman” or “The Brothers Grimm”!
    4. Maybe one of the less-celebrated superhero movies such as “Fantastic Four” — hey, don’t judge.
  6.  If your Chris were a dog, which dog would he be?
    1. Bernese mountain dog — Cute and playful
    2. Siberian husky — Majestic and maybe a little particular
    3. German shepherd — Loyal and a big softy
    4. Golden retriever — Sweet and good with kids
    1. Your Chris is Chris Pratt — the comedic genius behind Andy Dwyer in “Parks and Recreation” who had you dying in your seat laughing at his antics, and then you had the undeniable “Oh shit, he’s hot” moment when you saw the trailer for “Guardians of the Galaxy”. Chris Pratt is easily the funniest of the Chrises, and that makes him more than worthy to make your bae.                                                                                                                               chris-pratt-february-vf-02-17-02
    2. Never fear, your Chris is here. Chris Pine is not only a notable Berkeley alum (English majors, represent!), but also the beautiful face behind Captain Kirk in the “Star Trek” film saga, Wonder Woman’s soldier boyfriend and the father in the new film “A Wrinkle in Time”. Charming and rakish, Chris Pine is not only the bookish ally you need, but also the perfect man to pine for from a respectful distance, amirite ladies and gentlemen?                                                                                                                chris-pine-smiling
    3. The Chris for you is mighty indeed. Chris Hemsworth is most recognizable as Thor. This hulking Australian has captured the hearts of humans everywhere. Hemsworth is not afraid to make fun of himself and spoof his own series, nor is he afraid to remain committed to his wife and their three kids. So sorry to break the news to you this way, but it’s for the best, we promise. At least you’ll always have Ragnarok.                            2d806bc26a330748c0b24d94da81fe7bb6295d15
    4. Not everyone can say their Chris is America’s hero, but now you can. Chris Evans is Captain America — and many would say he is Steve Rogers. Not shying away from politics, the man takes to defending the innocent on the internet like he’s got a shield made of vibranium. Endearing, engaging and attractive as hell, Chris Evans makes a wonderful Chris to make your bae.                                                                                   cf25b63555e2c0e992db519b54234301-chris-evans-chris-delia-1

Contact Lauren West at [email protected].

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