As yet another semester at UC Berkeley draws to an end, there’s just one last batch of condensed human suffering to endure before we’re all free: finals. Even if you’re one of those unfortunate souls who has a 7-10 p.m. final on Friday night and has a class or an internship that somehow starts the Monday after, there will be at least one weekend of relaxation before the struggle inevitably ramps up again. As we look with no small amount of dread toward our last set of exams, let’s plan ahead to what we want to do in that perfect period between finishing finals and finding out exactly how badly we did on them.
Eat an entire tub of ice cream
The perfect mix of feeling both really, really good and really, really bad about yourself at the same time. Treat it as a marathon of enforced happiness: ice cream is love, life and everything — force it down your gullet until it hurts and just. Keep. Going. Ben & Jerry’s is a good size for this monstrous endeavor — just don’t get one of the overly fancy flavors, as the bursts of saccharine caramel chunks make the sweet experience turn sour rather quickly. All things in moderation.
Game until your eyes hurt
In the ultimate ironic turn, stay up late and stress yourself out over the totally inconsequential by putting your all into your mechanical prowess over a keyboard or controller — whether it be Tetris or League or Endless Lake or whatever it is the cool kids play nowadays. Go all-out as you study the intricacies of Pokémon training or learn new vocabulary through Words with Friends. It’s actually surprising how much you learn — apparently “jus” is “a right” in Latin.
Sleep an entire day away
OK, let’s not pretend we didn’t already do this on the weekends throughout the semester. But this is the one time it is socially acceptable (don’t listen to what your parents say) and doesn’t come with an enormous side of guilt that you should be studying or being productive somehow. OK fine, maybe it comes with just a little bit of guilt. But you deserve this rest. And why only do it one day? Shoot for the stars!
Once finals are over, you get to decide how you’d like to spend your time relaxing or stressing. Go Bears.
Contact Jonathan Lai at [email protected].