Dear fried chicken: We love and appreciate you this July 6

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Zahira Chaudhry/Staff

It’s the day that we’ve all been waiting for.

No, not August 22, 2018. It’s July 6 — National Fried Chicken Day, the holy day of celebrating the greasy and crispy birds that America finds quite tantalizing. Today, we at The Clog express our love for fried chicken, what qualities make up the best fried chicken and where exactly you can find it. 

Oh fried chicken, how we do love your artery-clogging, juicy goodness. We don’t care if we die before 53 — it’ll be worth it if we can spend every waking moment with you. You bring lonely people together over $20 buckets, children together against vegetables and families together on those days when no one wants to slave over a stove for dinner.

Now let us fried chicken connoisseurs discuss what matters maketh chicken. The No. 1 quality to look for is juiciness or moistness. No one likes a dry chicken. Fried chicken should have a nice, tender level of juiciness so that it tears from the rest of the meat and the bone smoothly.

Next up is the crispiness. You should feel a pleasant crunch when biting into the fried chicken, but not so much that you struggle to bite into the breaded part of the chicken, mistake the skin for bone or shatter five of your teeth.

Then come oiliness and saltiness. Yes, fried chicken’s yumminess does come from the gallons of fat it’s dunked in and the salt it’s rolled around in, but in this case, less is more. Too much can get overwhelming and take away from the meat. To ensure you don’t stroke out, chicken that makes you drink a lot of water afterwards is usually too salty, whether or not you can actually taste the salt initially. Try to avoid it next time. Also look for chicken that isn’t overly shiny or sitting in a pool of oil for the best-tasting experience. You can always get a tissue and blot off extra grease.

It’s time to get technical! The best fried chicken has an exactly 1-to-3.23428 bone-to-meat ratio if you get chicken with bone in it. That’s all there is to it. You can buy a fried chicken ratio measuring machine from the Clog Enterprises for the low, low price of $29.95! Don’t pass by this shameless plug and let yourself eat chicken unmeasured. If the ratio isn’t exact, throw it in the trash.

When you put those qualities together, the best place for fried chicken is unquestionably Wingstop. KFC is actual trash once you try real, really good fried chicken. You can get chicken here without bones or with, if that’s more your thing, in nearly every damn flavor category you could possibly dream of. The restaurant has dry rubs, saucy blends, spicy, mild and sweet, and even teriyaki. Wingstop has some bomb-ass dipping sauces, too. Ranch with chicken wings is a godsend (don’t knock it till you try it). And, of course, let’s not forget the glorious sides of fries. We know this is supposed to be an ode to National Fried Chicken Day, but those fries are something else.

But don’t limit National Fried Chicken Day to only the U.S., even though it is a national celebration! Countries all around the world give American chicken a run for their money every day. (Pro Clog tip: Jamaica has really good fried chicken if you ever make it down there one day.)

Expand your horizons this July 6 with fried chicken!

Contact Pooja Bale at [email protected] .

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