If UC Berkeley were Middle-earth, you can bet the Campanile would be the Eye of Sauron, Evans would be Isengard, Memorial Glade would be the Shire and Blackwell would be Rivendell. While we at the Clog could go on for days assigning the fictional places to real ones on campus, we decided it might be more fun to imagine what the beloved Tolkien characters would be doing if they attended UC Berkeley. Are our redwood trees actually gatherings of Ents? Do dwarves reside on the first floor of Moffitt? Is UCPD a bunch of orcs? The possibilities are as endless as the number of “Lord of the Rings” Reddit threads.
Frodo never seems to catch a break here at UC Berkeley. He decided to major in MCB and minor in public health and is on the pre-med track, so it’s been a steep uphill climb for him academically. But luckily, he gets by with a little help from his close friends, such as Sam. He finds his place at UC Berkeley among writers and picks up a second minor in creative writing. Frodo is definitely a source of inspiration for his friends, and for the most part, keeps a positive attitude, despite all his late nights studying in Main Stacks.
Always the friendly face on campus, Sam can often be seen actually talking to Sproulers rather than ignoring them, and he also always makes sure to stop by the De-Stress with Dogs table to pet the puppies. Sam is a part of the Student Organic Garden Association, teaches the DeCal and is often found there tending the plants. Because he cares deeply about people around him and the planet, he majors in society and environment.
Majoring in EECS and business, Gandalf is a powerhouse at this university. He somehow manages to pass all his most difficult classes with straight A’s, be a part of every club imaginable and have a social life. This guy seems to know everyone on campus. He also fights injustice wherever he sees it, and through his years at UC Berkeley, becomes a community organizer, where he plans and leads protests and strikes on campus.
Strong-willed and tired of being overlooked, Éowyn would be a strong women’s rights activist here at UC Berkeley. It follows that she would double major in gender and women’s studies and political science. In her spare time, she teaches self-defense classes at the RSF and is a part of Cal’s equestrian team with her brother. She puts her leadership skills to good use as captain of the team and president of many of the clubs she’s a part of.
Burdened with great purpose and an honorable mind, Aragorn would come to UC Berkeley intending to be a philosophy major. His great leadership capabilities, however, would lead him to also double major in political science. Though reluctant to be a part of the ASUC at first, he would decide to run independently to be senator, and then make his way up to ASUC president because of his great popularity and history of fighting for the underdogs.
Arwen would be the president of her sorority and would try to make her house as inclusive and welcoming as possible. She majors in public health and is a part of the student EMT program because of her interest in caring for others. She is also a part of FAST and enjoys modeling for the group during its runway shows.
Merry and Pippin
After becoming freshman-year roommates in Unit 2, these two guys became inseparable. They rushed the same frat but quit when they realized they could still party without joining one. After an inspiring weekend trip to Muir Woods, they both took their newfound appreciation for trees and decided to major in forestry and natural resources. They’re now both big environmental activists on campus and live in a co-op.
There really isn’t anything Legolas can’t do at this school. This near-perfect student would be captain of Cal Archery, walk onto Cal’s track and field team, and would manage to have perfect hair all at the same time. He would major in computer science because he’s good at it,di and linguistics because he’s interested in languages. You can be sure to find Legolas hanging out and playing Dungeons and Dragons or The Settlers of Catan with his best friend, Gimli, competing over who’s won the most games.
The adventures of “Lord of the Rings” characters at UC Berkeley would no doubt be less exciting than their adventures in the famous story, but one could argue that they’d have an equal, if not harder, time trying to get through the trials of life at UC Berkeley than they did trying to save Middle-earth. We’d take an evil ring and a treacherous hike up Mount Doom any day over grade deflation, a housing crisis and midterms!
Contact Sunny Sichi at [email protected].