Bee-lieve it! What majors insects would be if they went to UC Berkeley

Michelle Kim/Staff

You might not bee-lieve us, but there are at least a few things that insects and UC Berkeley students have in common. Both groups can be incredibly hardworking when they want to be, and there’s also an awfully high population of both. So in light of these similarities, here are some of the majors that insects would choose if they happened to attend our very own UC Berkeley.

Spiders: Architecture

They create large and complicated structures to capture their prey. So why not take classes on creating a better home for themselves? Now they can learn how to optimize their web for both living and catching prey.

Praying mantis: Gender and women’s studies

A female praying mantis would choose this major to take a crack at finding out why human females don’t bite off their mates’ heads. They might also try to sway their fellow students to use their strategy on dealing with the other sex.

Scarab beetles: Anthropology

Scarabs would definitely choose this major over others because let’s face it — they would get to hear about themselves. The archaeological record is filled with art showing the divinity of the Scarab beetle. They also live underground as grubs, which makes them at least comfortable with archeological digs, an activity some anthropology majors frequently partake in.

Crickets: Music

These insects play their bodies like instruments to attract mates. It would seem reasonable that they would choose to learn how to be better musicians at UC Berkeley. Therefore, a music major aligns with their interests very well. 

Bees: Chemistry

Bees take nectar and make multiple different compounds from it. The perfect major for them would, therefore, be learning even more chemical reactions. At the very least, it seems like chemistry is something they’re good at, so they should be able to keep up.

Ants: Engineering

Engineering would definitely be the passion of these tiny builders. With the skills learned in class, they could build even more expansive tunnel networks without the fear of them collapsing. If they disliked the digging, they could engineer a better way of digging the tunnels.

Fireflies: Theater

A firefly illuminated in the night seems like someone who would enjoy the spotlight. So the best major for them would be one that would let them on the stage. Either that or they would work backstage, using their own light to see what they were doing in the darkness.

So go embrace your hardworking inner bug this finals season. Remember you’re working hard for a reason, hopefully, because you actually enjoy doing it. The next time you see an insect, maybe say hello to the potential UC Berkeley student. 

Contact Zachariah Nash at [email protected].