The U.S. Democratic presidential race is heating up … and getting crowded. Since there are so many candidates, we at the Clog would like to help you get to know and differentiate the candidates in a familiar way, by judging them based on who they would be if they were students at UC Berkeley today.
Harris would be busy practicing saying “can I walk you to class?” for her upcoming ASUC election, and flexing both her Bay Area roots and her mother’s involvement in the Civil Rights Movement at UC Berkeley in the 1960s.
Other than being that one strangely old guy in your discussion, Sanders would be spending his free time on Sproul protesting tuition hikes, flyering for his social justice organization and giving Haas kids the finger. Like every truly anti-establishment fellow, he lives in (and loves) his co-op.
Other than being a weirdly devout ethnic studies major, Warren is currently at Café Milano debating the moral implications of her friend accepting an internship at a big corporation. She is planning on applying to law school, so catch her being extra prepared for every lecture because the difference between a 3.8 and a 3.9 GPA is her admission to law school, people!
In reality, Booker went to Stanfurd (boo!) and played football there (double boo!), but in this alternate universe Booker is your run-of-the-mill Haas student with a “connection to Facebook.” This, however, does not stop him from being that guy who really participates in your political science discussion.
BONUS: Beto O’Rourke
Although O’Rourke hasn’t officially declared his candidacy, we cannot help but include everyone’s favorite cool guy politician. He can be found in a shallow beanie skating at Kroeber fountain in between classes and in the underground band playing at your friend’s house party.
Even though this is just a small fraction of the Democratic presidential candidates, we hope this gave you a better understanding of them.
Contact Elena Cavender at [email protected].