Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or maybe underwater in the “Year 3000,” you probably know by now that our favorite 2000s boy band is back together. The Jonas Brothers’ comeback truly gave us a renewed sense of hope in this dismal world, and for that we are eternally grateful. With the trio fresh in our minds as we play “Sucker” on repeat, we at the Clog have been fantasizing about the JoBros attending the No. 1 public university in the world. Here’s what we think our favorite famous brothers might be up to if they were students here at UC Berkeley.
The JoBros’ front man, with his undeniable charm and easygoing leadership, would be the president of Sigma Apple Pie, the “nice guy” fraternity. Joe, the fun-loving free spirit, would be studying something earthy in CNR, and in his free time he’d ski with the school club, mess around with his buddies in the Baking DeCal and explore the local bar scene with his super cool British exchange student girlfriend.
The most underrated Jonas, who constantly lives in the shadows of his brothers, would carve out his own path here at UC Berkeley. As an aspiring actor, Kevin would study film and join the improv group jericho! to make new friends that aren’t a part of his brothers’ circle. Outside of class, you could probably catch him at the RSF pumping iron and trying to impress girls.
Sweet, solemn Nick would be the quiet, brooding English major who writes angsty posts for Confessions at UC Berkeley. He’d get the best grades of all the JoBros, volunteer at the ACLU in his spare time and go on romantic dates with his super popular sorority girlfriend. Whenever Kevin and Joe ask him to hang out, he would always say he just “has to do his own thing.”
The Bonus Jonas would ultimately get into UC Berkeley off the waitlist and despite dealing with constant pressure from his successful family, find his own way to be successful. He’d become an admin for UC Berkeley Memes for Edgy Teens, but also help tutor freshmen in stats at the SLC. Frankie would always be the one the other brothers go to for support if they had a stressful midterm or girl drama.
Look, we know it’s unlikely that the Jonas Brothers will every matriculate to our great campus, but we can dream, right?
Contact Hannah Nguyen at [email protected].