Grant me these two things: We deserve a president who is accomplished and can bring positive change. Do we have consensus? Now, let's examine the remaining viable presidential hopefuls.

Barack Obama is neither accomplished nor will he bring change. He wants "unity" (an inherently undemocratic concept), but voted against making English our official and unifying language. Whoops. Can you identify a single difference between Obama and Senate relic Ted Kennedy? Neither can I. Memo to Obama supporters: the '60s are over; pick someone else.

How about Hillary Clinton? Ask yourself this question: Where would she be if hubby Bill wasn't by her side? She would be just another faux-populist Senate nobody with an expensive haircut (ahem, John Edwards)-if that. Her political cornerstone is a failed health care bill.

John McCain represents the bane of the Republican Party. His campaign finance reform has unconstitutionally curbed our free expression and has ensured that only the uber-wealthy can run for public office, evidenced by the fact that our current Senate is the richest in history. He lied about Mitt Romney's stance on Iraq and falsely accused President Bush of lying in 2000. He has already reminded us that he is a Vietnam vet more times than John Kerry did last election-and it's only February.

Worst of all, McCain's policies are almost identical to Mrs. Clinton's. He is the only Republican who voted against the Bush tax cuts (in case you forgot, they worked). He is against waterboarding despite its success in interrogating such terrorists as Abu Zubaydah. He wants to bankrupt the pharmaceutical companies (read: if you vote for John McCain, people will die), and he is drinking the global warming Kool-Aid. Furthermore, what sane person would vote for the world's oldest man and claim they want change?

That leaves Mitt Romney. Governor Romney started Bain Capital, which he used to save Staples and Domino's Pizza. He used his business savvy to bring the 2002 Olympics out of a $379 million hole and put it back up $100 million in the black; he donated his $825,000 salary to charity and kicked in another cool million to the games himself. He was a successful governor in the bluest of states, proving he can bridge the party gap most convincingly on the issue of health care, where he was able to pass legislation that lead to insurance for 80 percent of those in Massachusetts previous were without it. Everything he touches turns to gold.

The next four years will be important-think Iraq, Iran and an imminent recession. If change is required and greatness is our hope, Romney is the superior choice. His administration would be a competent one (no Katrinas) and a dignified one (no semen-stained dresses). And, most importantly, he will provide a legitimate contrast to Billary.