Sex on Tuesday

A wise man-Jeff Conaway, to be precise-once offered these pearls of wisdom: "A hickey from Kenickie's like a Hallmark card, when you only care enough to send the very best." My name's not Kenickie, and I'm not big on the love-bites, but I can certainly stand by the message.

That's because I appreciate making out in all its varied forms. Done well, it can be a bedroom highlight. Done wrong, it's a deal-breaker. Overall, it's just not done often enough.

What happened to the glory days of high school? Admittedly, not mine, but you know what I'm talking about. Making out used to be a main event: an occasion worthy of time, preparation, discussion. For most college students, however, sex is the primary concern. No, the two aren't mutually exclusive-that would be particularly unfortunate-but I still can't help but feel that too often the simple stuff gets neglected.

What's not to love about making out? It's fairly intuitive, or at least easy to learn. It's fun, especially if you vary your style to keep it exciting. Best of all, it's safer than a lot of the other things you can do with your mouth.

OK, there are risks. Oral herpes is always a concern, and let's not discount the omnipresent threat of the reviled "kissing disease," also known as mono.

Funny story there. A few years back, a friend contracted mono shortly after an epic night of spin-the-bottle. It wasn't a direct result of the game-her symptoms showed up the next day-but that meant we'd all been exposed.

And so began the Great Mono Scare of '05, which led to much feeling of foreheads and lymph nodes. In my defense, I was raised by a Jewish mother, so this was really nothing new. Either way, we didn't get it, much to the chagrin of the aforementioned friend, who had to put up with our (read: my) endless neurosis for months while she legitimately suffered.

I digress. The point is, making out is a relatively harmless endeavor. After all, you can just as easily get cold sores and kissing diseases from sharing drinks. Not to scare you or anything; I'm just saying.

To be clear, I'm not only advocating making out with your significant other, though obviously that's something I would recommend. Instead, I'm in favor of a more all-encompassing approach. That's right, I'm talking about being a make-out slut.

Oh, don't look at me that way. As far as I'm concerned, make-out sluts-or make-out enthusiasts, to put it more kindly-get a bad rap. I'm not saying you should go out and make out with everyone indiscriminately. I mean, hey, we all have our standards. But I do think there's something to be said for broadening your horizons.

Make-out enthusiasts have the right idea. More than anyone else, they seem to understand the thrill and importance of a good lip-locking session. They get that making out doesn't only have to be in the heat of the moment, so to speak, but also works quite well as a standalone, whether with sexual partners or just with friends. You call them sluts; I call them adventurous and well-informed.

You can learn a lot by making out with someone. Everyone has a different style, which means you never really know what you're in for. Does she keep her tongue flat, or move it around? Is he a bottom-lip biter? Another friend (mono-less, I assume) and I once determined the perfect make-out ratio: 70-30 lips-tongue, in case you were wondering. Since then, however, I've come to the conclusion that there is no real right way. Kisses are like snowflakes-unique, refreshing and wet.

Maybe I'm wrong, and we should stick to less passionate behavior when it comes to people who aren't our lovers. On the other hand, Europeans greet with kisses on the cheeks and sometimes even the lips. Is it so out of line to suggest we follow suit? Except, you know, with tongue.

Sadly, I'm not as brazen as Julia, my fellow sex columnist, and thus won't recommend you e-mail me for macking. But who knows-we might run into each other at a co-op party, in which case all bets are off.

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