Changing of the Guard

The last leg of late-night procrastination and caffeine infused studying has come–and with it the current Daily Californian editors pass the baton on to the next team.

Editor in chief Stephen Chen will move on to a quieter life with fewer balls in Seattle. While interning for the Tacoma News Tribune, he intends on depleting the city burrito supply and watermarking all office paper with the Oakland A's logo.

Chen's successor, former development and city news editor Bryan Thomas, has vowed to continue flinging balls. Although staffers have no doubt he will be able to uphold the tradition, they question his student status.

"Hasn't he been here for four years already?" they ask one another through Gchat while giving one another furtive glances of understanding across the copy desk.

Managing editor Annie Shen has yet another six weeks of class before she makes the big leap to either bartending or Bible school. In the meantime, she will be doing research on how many layouts it takes to get to carpel tunnel syndrome.

"I think I'm almost there," she said with a twang of resentment.

Current university news editor Tamara Bartlett will serve as managing editor for summer. She is excited to exert her authority and exhibit the power of Chipotle by screaming the words so beloved to many hearts: "I HATE YOU!"

Katlyn Carter, former university news editor, will be stepping up to the plate as managing editor in the fall and has been found chanting "I'll call tech" to replace her mantra of "That's terrifying" in preparation for the role.

Staff representative Andrea Lu has survived her last day without being impeached and will be moving on an internship with Science magazine. Her work there will primarily focus on the convergence of chemical reactions and karaoke.

"Girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend!" sang Lu.

Librarian Salgu Wissmath will follow in Lu's footsteps as staff representative during the summer, and Amanda Ott will step into the position in the fall. Big plans for Wissmath include painting the office orange to boost office morale. Ott, voted mom of the office two years running, is looking to overhaul policy to make editors wear extra socks and jackets when they work to fend off the cold and stock the vending machine with nothing but Chex Mix and Dr. Pepper.

Angelica Dongallo, the summer news editor, has promised to reign over the desk with the propriety of a Pilipino princess and beezie love.

Assistant city news editor Will Kane will move into the city news editor position in the fall. Although he will be bereft of BFFs, Kane will take the opportunity to "run through that open door" and utilize his extra time to study his idol, incoming editor in chief Bryan Thomas.

Vincent Quan, assistant university news editor, will serve as the fall university news editor. When asked to comment on his feelings for the coming semester, all he could say with unnecessary volume was, "Craxytown dradrizma."

Night editor Lucas Westmaas will be moving to Philadelphia to be a jolly high school math teacher. Although 2,867 miles away, we can already hear the resounding response of his students echoing from the future:

"Thank you, Lucas!" they yell as they run off to their next class.

Assistant night editor Laura Macarthur will be stepping up to take on the role of night editor *cough* manager of the night during the summer as well as fall. She will be way nicer than Lucas, but not anybody's best friend.

Gerald Nicdao, current sports editor, will be bidding farewell to the Daily Cal and moving on to bigger, better things. When asked how the job was, he responded with "That's what she said."

Andrew Kim will take up the position of sports editor over the summer followed by current assistant sports editor Matt Kawahara in the fall. In preparation for the position, Kim has been "borrowing" Kawahara's clothes whenever he falls asleep in the office.

Arts and entertainment editor Sofia Salazar-Rubio leaves the position to Stefanie Lee for the fall semester.

"'F' owns 'PH,'" cheer Salazar-Rubio and Lee in unison.

Over the summer, Louis Peitzman, current assistant arts and entertainment editor, aims to make the desk significantly more sexy.

Patrici Flores, current blog editor, will be staying on for the summer and invites everyone to crawl with her around the town.

Opinion page editor Alia Salim will step down as her current assistant Victoria Tang moves up. Salim has decided to dedicate her time on creating her own line of dresses tailored for biking. Her new line "Call me a fascist" is known for its signature angry bunnies. Tang is currently in training to curb her too smart, too organized skills to fit the position of editor.

Photo editor Anna Hiatt will be serving again in the fall semester. Over the summer, Nathan Yan will be moving into the position. Yan promises to make a slideshow everyday before Hiatt's return to reign in the cave to ensure a seamless transition. Hopefully Hiatt will live to see the transition with no harm from "lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!" after a "winter" in South Africa.

Kristie Chow, design editor, has not found the answer to what love is, even after a semester with the Daily Cal. She leaves the question to be answered by her assistant, Samantha Truppi, as she takes over the desk in the fall.

While some look back on their time here and others look forward to their upcoming experiences, The Daily Californian will continue on, so long as the Olympic Gods do not fail us.

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