Find a Running Mate

When I'm working out at the gym, I almost always take off my glasses. The reasons are threefold: They fog up, they slide off my nose and, most importantly, I don't want to have to make eye contact with anyone I know. In my mind, if I can't see you, you can't see me either-and please do me a favor and don't point out the faulty logic therein.

To me, going to the gym is an intensely personal experience, mostly because I don't want anyone standing too close after working out for an hour. That's also why I find the concept of picking someone up at the gym to be so foreign, so misguided, so inescapably gross. When you're trying to make a romantic connection, the goal is to be looking, acting and feeling your best. Past minute five on the treadmill, chances are none of those things will be true.

But I'm a sex columnist, which means keeping an open mind. Rather than merely dismissing the phenomenon, I figured it might be worthwhile to look at the why and wherefore of gym hook-ups.

First, there's the obvious, so let's get that out of the way. We look awkward when we're working out, but it's probably on par with how we look in the bedroom. If you're looking to meet someone for sex, that whole heaving breath, covered in sweat thing is probably something you're going to have to get used to.

At the same time, there's got to be more to it than that. Knowing that a potential mate will eventually look silly in the throes of passion doesn't necessarily mean you want a sneak preview. Perhaps it's not just simple logic. What if there's-dare I say it-science involved?

Let's go back to the "covered in sweat" situation. Not the sexiest three words in the English language, granted, but maybe that initial "ick" response is only surface level. In fact, "covered in sweat" might be just what you need to get yourself going. Body odor usually doesn't smell great, but it may be doing more than meets the nose. Starts with a "p." Ends with a "heromones."

My scientific education at UC Berkeley consisted of Astronomy 10 and a class about marine mammals, so I'm not going to pretend to know much (read: anything) about human biology. Instead, I'll defer to down-to-earth science writer-and Oakland resident!-Mary Roach. In her latest book, "Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex," she writes, "A compound called androstenone was found to exist in men's underarm sweat. Androstenone had long been known as a potent swine sex pheromone; when a pig in heat sniffs it, she becomes receptive to being mounted by a boar."

OK, androstenone is something only guys produce. Not to mention the fact that its effect on women and gay men is still pretty much speculative. Still, it's something, a possible explanation for a courtship phenomenon that continues to boggle my hygiene-loving mind.

Could there be another biological imperative at work? Something a bit more evolutionary? Maybe working out is a turn on because of what it implies: healthy, productive and long-lasting bodies. I know "survival of the fittest" refers to the most capable baby-makers, but that doesn't mean we can't get a little creative with the concept. As in, you think, "Ew, sweaty person of the preferred gender," and your biological impulse counters, "But think how slow and steady their heart rate must be when they're off the bike." It's a stretch, yes, but what did you expect given my scientific background?

It's possible that I'm trying too hard to come up with an explanation. I mean, bodies in motion-that's sexy, right? And then, of course, there's the fact that many gymgoers actually dress up to work out, which means you're probably not even seeing them at their worst. Fixing your hair just so you can go to the gym and ruin it seems like a waste of time, but given the opportunities for a connection, maybe it's worth it.

Sort of as a side note, I'm told that the showers are a great place for a more direct form of cruising. I'd try to analyze why, but I think that's fairly obvious.

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