TiVo and I stayed in last Saturday for a 'Prison Break' marathon," my buddy explained. Wait, you watched with who? Since when did you start referring to your technological counterparts on a first-name-let's-spend-the-evening-curled-up-together basis? In attempts to make a joke, she sarcastically replied, "Oh, Amy, you know how it is-he just 'gets' me," quoting one of the self-serving slogans of the TiVo empire-the one that references how your TiVo knows you better than you know yourself. And it was at that moment, through her giggling that followed, that I realized as she was joking, that … well, she wasn't really joking.

I fear proclaiming my disapproval for TiVo will lead to clamor and upheaval in the streets as well as bring forth many pitchfork and remote control wieldin' users who will chase me down Sproul Plaza. But this is why I shake my head and wag my finger at you scary TiVo-heads.

Since its launch in 1997, TiVo has taken our homes by storm. Altering not only when we watch TV but also how we watch it, this notorious digital video recorder (DVR) has been created to be the all-encompassing device no homeowner should live without. Its ability to pause/play real-time TV and record full show seasons for more convenient watching (futuristically called time-shifting) are among the many favorite aspects that TiVo users die for.

Under normal circumstances, "die for" may sound a bit fanatical, but TiVo does not yield normalcy. It's astonishing how TiVo has given birth to a cult-like following. In a 2004 research article entitled "The Age of Egocasting," author Christine Rosen examined the extent to which users expressed their undying love and passion for TiVo. Among my favorite (and the scariest) quotes are it being "God's machine," "The only thing in my life I can count on week after week" and "I've converted. It's my new religion."

Arguably its most famous feature is that it allows users to literally "zap" away commercials. Once upon a time people were forced to get up out of their recliners and physically walk away from the television sets to avoid ads-but that time is no more. No need to sit and wait through three whole agonizing minutes of advertisements for auto insurance or Chia Pets now that you've got TiVo.

Realizing how important the convenience of time-shifting is to the avid watcher, television executives made full episodes available online with ads lasting sometimes no more than 10 seconds. But no! Spoiled TiVo-ites would have none of this preposterous amount of interruption while they're in "the zone." So TiVo decided to answer their self-indulgent whines with a new product.

Teaming up with Nero, TiVo announced their newest addition to the DVR family-LiquidTV … basically TiVo for your PC. According to the Nero Web site, it is set to be released sometime this month and will be the answer to all those pesky advertisements that just won't cease and desist. It wasn't enough for TiVo to completely kill the world of television advertisement-they just had to finish it off for online sponsors too.

What does this mean for the advertisers who pay for all our online convenience? Soon enough we won't have to worry since they probably won't be paying for it much longer. They sponsor networks to keep what we watch online free and I don't know about you, but it doesn't bother me if they want to purchase my eyeballs for a few seconds during my shows if it means my television is still coming to me for no additional cost.

It's gotten to the point where TiVo has changed our viewing habits for the worse it seems-try watching political debates with friends who can't stop pausing mid-rebuttals just to argue with one another on the spot. Or what our needy dependence on it breeds when TiVo accidentally misses a recording of a favorite show. I've seen many a TiVo friend's head on the brink of explosion upon realizing their TiVo "forgot" to record "Grey's Anatomy" one week.

Under the guise of being the stay-at-home recording savior that allows you to live independently from your household constraints, it mischievously lures you in. Instead of spending an hour a week tuning in, you spend multiple whole weekends of your life trying to catch up.

For now, I'll stick to my old-fashioned ways, watching prime time Tuesday television shows that actually start on Tuesday.

Tags: