It's been a year.

One cock-numbing year.

And I still can't sleep.

I can't function.

Can't stop peeing on the seat.

Can't stop being generally pissed off.

I don't take losing well.

Not in beirut.

Not in two straight presidential elections.

And not in college football.

In 2004, I was the stunned Cal student on national television mouthing the f-bomb after a sack and three straight Aaron Rodgers incompletions cost us an upset at the Coliseum.

In 2001, I was the first one in the parking lot and the only one to leave the Farm with a "GO CARD" license plate (thank you Swiss army screwdriver).

And that was back when the Bears were still putting up 1-10 seasons.

When our punter was the one we put on Heisman shirts-God bless Nick Harris.

When the only Breathalyzers at Memorial Stadium were the ones students brought in for funsies.

That was when losing was a culture.

When snuffed out Big Game bonfires were a right of passage.

When Stanfurd-Cal was more massacre than matchup.

That was before Jeff Tedford turned Kyle Boller into a Big Game crowd surfer.

Before his almighty touch turned the Strawberry Canyon water into wine. Berkeley's blues into gold. One win into a near-No. 1 ranking.

Before Jeff Tedford turned the Big Game into enough of a farce that 226-pound third stringer Steve Levy (remember him?) quarterbacked the Bears to a Big Game (and later Bowl game) win.

Seven years since 1-10, Jeff Tedford has given us everything to lose and nothing to fear.

He's made the Big Game less about rivalry and more about revelry.

He's made losing, while more infrequent, that much harder.

And it has to stop.

For the sake of the Bears and my urine-stained toilet seat.

Cal won five straight Big Games under Tedford.

Two graduating Cal classes never lost to Stanfurd.

Prior to last year, neither had our savior on the sideline.

All-time, Stanfurd leads 55-44-11.

All-time, Tedford leads 5-1.

He has defied Big Game odds.

And we, in turn, thanked him by defying Big Game karma.

We stopped forcibly ripping red shirts off of college coeds sitting in the wrong section.

We started lending our beloved moniker to every sport under the sun-Big Freeze, really?

And if I'm not mistaken, Oski stopped manhandling the Cardinal mascot-when was the last time anyone saw him taken away in handcuffs?

Worst of all, when we stopped appreciating the fantasy football land created by our big clipboard carrying buddy, so too did the boys in blue.

Lavelle Hawkins stopped just long enough in the end zone to drop two touchdown passes last season.

Nate Longshore stopped throwing to the right team.

And we stopped Rolling On.

Today, we start again.

Start a new winning streak.

Start planning MLK for the Axe.

Start being happy again with a Big Game win, and worry about U$C another year.

And if that's not enough?

Well, we've always got Mike Montgomery.

Tags: BIG GAME, JEFF TEDFORD, CAL FOOTBALL