Admit it. You're reading this because you want to hear all about David Sedaris' Sunday night venture to Zellerbach Hall, but you kind of already know how it went. David Sedaris is a thoroughly (and joyously) predictable man. He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think and he might even make you cry, and that's exactly what happened this past weekend. It happens every time he makes an appearance somewhere.

This particular show, during which he read excerpts from his 2008 book "When You Are Engulfed In Flames," among other random musings, was just one of 35 on the tour, and this tour is one of many he's done in years past for works like "Me Talk Pretty One Day" and "Naked."

He's got everything down, from the witty in-between-essay quips to the sassy answers to audience members' questions. He's even got a stockpile of personalized anecdotes ready for each person waiting to get his autograph after the show.

Watching the line of diehards, books in hand, was like observing the scientific method in action: If the fan (or fans) immediately engaged in conversation with Sedaris, he'd banter back and forth with them, immersed in their story. If they suffered from star-struck awkwardness, he'd insert a tiny story from his vault-like brain and ease the tension as he decorated his John Hancock with a quirky symbol of gratitude (a bunny, a dollar sign, whatever). What a pro.

That kind of experience is really what Sedaris is all about. He knows exactly how to make people feel great, and he can do it in a variety of ways, most notably in his books. He can write a very personal essay-perhaps one about a raw-duck-eating kookaburra in Australia or an over-eager taxidermist pushing the sale of a human arm, neither of which remotely involve anyone else-and make it directly applicable to each of his readers' lives. Sure, universality has always been the golden ticket to truly successful writing, but Sedaris seems to have found all five of those proverbial Wonka bars.

The fans he's attracted over the years are respectful, too, which is not always the case. Don't tell me you haven't been to one of those shows where the entire audience is eating directly from the palm of the performer's hand. You know, the guy walks on stage and says "Hello!" and everyone doubles over with laughter, just in case his greeting was actually a cleverly disguised joke. It's probably hard to be taken seriously with that kind of following.

But Sedaris fans know when to cackle, when to bawl and when to gasp because his stories make it so easy to do so. It's even easier with his soothing tenor, pacing through his own words without skipping a beat, even when discussing how a bird could be an "asshole" or how he might take Communion crackers and "make salsa of the body of Christ."

Surprisingly enough, he loves reading from his books. You'd think he'd be sick of his own work, but he explained Sunday that he constantly revises his essays, especially the unpublished gems that audiences occasionally have the privilege of hearing. One of those essays brought up themes of sarcasm, guilt and common decency all while flaunting that talent for comedic timing, an especially impressive feat, considering that his pieces are written before they are spoken. Titled "Just A Quick E-mail," it was written in the voice of an unapologetic, pissed-off recipient of a pizza coupon as a wedding gift.

Sedaris is a humble man, even if he knows he's good. He's not afraid to praise other writers; he even played an excerpt from "Talking Heads" by British writer Alan Bennett. Even more modest was his unflinching transparency. He answered every question, signed every book and jumped at the chance to say, "Look at what my life turned out to be!"