Making Friends Is Hard to Do

To all my fellow graduating seniors: Take a look at your Facebook friend lists. How many of these friends will remain your friends a year after graduation? Two years? Five years? Ten years? My dad always tells me that friendships are fleeting and that sooner or later, all my friends will dissipate into memories of a more pleasant past. But that's probably because my dad was a loser and had no friends in college.

I jest. But in all seriousness, the thought of losing all my friends is pretty troubling. Because in the end, despite the countless all-nighters I've pulled, the endless hours I've clocked in editing news content and the uphill battles I've fought against mono and various other viral infections, my friends will always compose my most treasured memories from college. And without my friends, I probably would never have gotten through any of the previously listed situations.

So what kind of friends will I meet in my post-grad, working life? Well, I probably won't be grabbing lunch and dinner at fancy restaurants (i.e. Thai Basil, House of Curries) on a daily basis with my friends. Since my parents won't be subsidizing me any longer, I probably won't be tipping at restaurants either, which means waiters also won't want to be my friends. Ah, and drunken debauchery on a Thursday night? That most likely won't be taking place either, since I'll have to wake up at that ungodly hour of 9 a.m. to get to work. So if I can't bond with friends over Korean food for lunch or dance like a heathen in that shady backroom in Kip's, then how do I make friends as a recent graduate?

Well, I'm sure I'll make some great new friends at work. "But you can never trust your coworkers. They will always backstab you," my dad says. Imagine this scenario: Coworker and I go out for drinks after a stressful day at work. I joke that the boss smells like an unwashed monkey. Coworker tells boss that I said he smells like an unwashed monkey. I get fired. Yes, not an ideal situation.

My dad is probably exaggerating, but it'll definitely be different in the real world. A lot of my coworkers aren't going to be the same age as me. A few might be recent college grads, some may be newlyweds, while the others could be soon-to-be retirees. Think about the age diversity in The Office. Yeah ... I probably wouldn't want to go clubbing with Phyllis either.

So if I can't make good friends at work, then what can I possibly do? I'm sure I can just sit in random evening classes, plop next to an unsuspecting freshman and engage him or her in small talk. With a quick turn of the head, I'd say, "Hey, I don't go to school here, but that's unimportant. All I need to know is whether or not you'd want to hang out with me … after class." Somehow, I don't think that would fly. Some might even classify it as some form of sexual harassment.

In that case, I guess I can always go back to the Daily Cal and sort of hang around like a creeper. I'll eat all the vending machine food and chat it up with new staff members who couldn't care less about my time at the paper. I'll show up at every meeting and just stare and grin at the new group of editors. Or I could pretend I'm still an editor, guiding new writers until the real editors come in and forcibly remove me. I guess the campus isn't as welcoming when you're no longer a student.

So, the transition from student to alumnus probably won't be easy. You're thrown into this whole new world, juggling bills, politics at work and the day-to-day routine of a new career. With so many things on your plate, why even worry about your social life?

Well, just like in school, you'll need friends to rant to about everything that's "going wrong" in your life. I might no longer stay up working on 50-page theses alongside them, but if our friendships last, I'll know they stood for something (and yes, I know that must have sounded like some cheesy line from Care Bears or something).

I have no idea with how many of my college buddies I'll stay in touch, but I know I'll still need them for sure. When I finally leave this place, I think I'll treasure my friends just a bit more. Still, there are some people I'm pretty glad to be done with as my time at Berkeley comes to a close.

Just kidding. But just in case I'm not, you know who you are.