My friend, Beth, just graduated from Cal with honors. Her older sister, Julia, also graduated from Cal. When I married my spouse in August 2008, we scheduled the date so these two young women we have watched grow up could be at our wedding in the backyard. They are really important to us, as were the other 100 or so guests for this magic day for us. All of our friends and relatives roared with delight when we were pronounced spouses for life.

The neighbors heard the roar-it was such a delightful sound in the summer air. This year there will be no summer backyard weddings for same sex couples in California.

If a same-sex couple wants to get married, they have to go to Canada, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut or of all places, Iowa. The privilege of declaring one's commitment to his or her partner was taken away in a one-two punch by last year's election with Proposition 8 and then by the California Supreme Court. In the Supreme Court decision, the justices voted to uphold the vote which took away our right to marry. They then validated the 18,000 marriages that took place in between June 16 and Nov. 4, 2008. So what does that create?

A two tiered system in California, literally those with a legal marriage and those without. I didn't ask to be part of this exclusive country club. It was inflicted on the gay and lesbian community through the efforts of the Mormon

and Catholic churches telling half-

truths and exaggerations.

In a post-election California, however, it would appear that there were a number of incorrect assumptions made about the voting public here. In no particular order, these are some of the mitigating facts about the Prop 8 election:

African Americans were the biggest voting bloc to vote yes on Prop 8. This is not true. Real numbers emerged after the election to show this was not a minority driven attack on the LGBT community. This measure was different than any other vote in the history of California. The political consultants had successfully won all three voting attacks on the rights of young women to have access to abortion. They had never seen

this kind of voting pattern. The "movable middle:" that group whose votes could be changed was much smaller than originally thought. Both sides were really entrenched and nothing could change minds in the two camps. The movable middle changed every day and what finally was the final push was the ad about education.

Our side did not have the money to respond. So women, mothers, turned against Prop 8 at the end and they were the difference in the election. So now what? Another election to roll back Prop 8 will happen. There is considerable conversation about 2010 or 2012. I have an opinion about this but just want to say, we'll be back. This community will pick itself up and get back to work because we have seen equality and there is no going back.

Tags: PROP 8