I always thought The Red Album was a put-on. Weezer's last (self-titled) record came out in June 2008, and singer Rivers Cuomo kept insisting that he never listened to critics, that he was just a regular Harvard grad who happened to see eye to eye with Rick Rubin. As it turns out, Cuomo was being sincere, and even after three poorly received albums, he's much more confident with hostile reviews than his characters ever were with girls.

When Cuomo makes mistakes, he doesn't shrug and count his money; he rewrites. The last album's most obvious talking point was "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived," a classic of glam baroque acoustic rap and maybe possibly obviously a joke. If "Can't Stop Partying" from Raditude is a "Weezer-Weezy" joke, Lil' Wayne is getting paid too much to laugh on his guest verse. Rivers Cuomo really wants to write a viable rap-rock single, a poly-stylistic Timbaland-joint with subtler influences than Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit. And the Lollipopping "Can't Stop Partying" or the synth-tinged "I'm Your Daddy" aren't even it, but he'll get it right sooner or later. I'm still on your side, Rivers, even after that Make Believe record. So, since it's clear that ordering you around won't change anything, what follows is a friendly suggestion.

Please go solo. Sorry Bryan, Scott, and Pat. You guys keep great time and everything, but you're the print journalism of Weezer's information age, and we can do your job cheaper without you. But Rivers, you still somehow write good hooks, and there's nothing wrong with being a goofy, populist Rihanna and rocking the choruses of #1 hits. Raditude isn't your best record, but it's encouraging; I hope you keep ignoring the critics and become the pop diva you've always dreamed of.