Bear Witness...with Garrett Cross

When I was asked to do double duty this week on my column, I jumped at the chance, for the sole reason of recalling a trip to UCLA two years ago for a basketball game-because it is at least loosely related to Cal football taking on the Baby Bruins on Saturday.

The story goes-my buddy, who we will call Vimpul so as not to incriminate him, and I had made the trek down to Pauley Pavilion to watch the Bears take on UCLA.

As I entered with my press pass and Vimpul with his photo pass-no, he wasn't a photographer-we moseyed on over to our seats.

Midway through the game, a Bruins fan turned to Vimpul to ask a very important question.

Bruins Fan: Hey, so are you a photographer?

Vimpul: Yeah.

BF: So why aren't you taking any pictures?

Vimpul: Oh, well, we brought a photographer for the UCLA and USC games, but we're only taking pictures of the game that matters.

BF: Touche.

After Cal went on to lose to the Bruins, I went to the bathroom to wash away my sorrows in the urinal,and Vimpul followed. As I stepped to the first urinal, I noticed Vimpul had begun to use the urinal to the left of me-only there wasn't a urinal to the left of me.

As he proceeded to piss all over Pauley Pavilion, I couldn't help but hope that one day, I could meet a Bears athlete that wished he could do the same.

Enter today's special Bear Witness guest, Cal football tight end Garrett Cross.

Grant Marek: So last year I remember Adimchinobe Echemandu talked about 'SC grabbing his genitals-was there similar foul play last Saturday?

Garrett Cross: Yeah, in fact. I wouldn't say genital though. One play I caught the ball and ended up in a pile, and this guy grabbed my ankle and started twisting the crap out of it-and I had a sore ankle coming into the game.

GM: I'm not surprised-I hear they give out a list of injured players so the Trojans know who to hurt and how to do it. I noticed you're from Chico. We all know about the state college as one of the nation's best party schools-what about your alma mater, Chico High School?

GC: Let me tell you about Chico High School. It's right across the street from Chico State. We basically grew up partying at the college.

GM: How often do you remind Aaron Rodgers that Jeff Tedford came to Butte College to recruit you and that you hooked him up?

GC: I have to put him in check sometimes. I tell him, you know how you got here.

GM: I've been trying to get Cal fans to throw up the "Cross" (see above) every time you make a big play. Did people ever do that at Butte or what?

GC: The first time I did it was here at USC last year. John Rust, another tight end, told me whenever I score to throw it up. Last time it just happened to be in front of USC, their band and that stupid Trojan.

GM: Dude, why'd you stop?

GC: The NCAA is cracking down. You can't make any signs-you can't pose. The NCAA officials committee sends tapes to the coaches that we watch demonstrating personal fouls, unnecessary roughness-they even did one on celebrations.

GM: You make it on the film?

GC: They showed Daymeion (Hughes) leap into the end zone (from the 2003 Illinois game). I was on there when (Jonathan) Makonnen scored against USC, and some dude-he just leveled me in the back.

GM: You ever meet Tom Swoboda, your predecessor at tight end?

GC: I only met him a couple of times. He's real laid back. I wish I would've met Tony Gonzalez-he was at the USC game, and I wanted to go over there during the game.

GM: I'm sure Tedford would not have been to pleased if you ran a slant route over to meet Tony G. You stoked about your first home game in forever?

GC: It's time. Everyone here is ready for it. I hope all the students get out there and make some frickin' noise.

GM: Hey, what's a bruin anyway?

GC: A bruin? A baby bear.

GM: See, in the stands, the student section always goes with a "small dickless bear."

GC: Oh yeah, you can put that-baby dickless bear.

GM: I wonder if it's worth bringing a photo guy to a game against a bunch of baby dickless bears?

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