Mother Sews Grief Into Powerful Gift for Parents

After two-day-old Jonathan died four years ago in intensive care, his mother slept with the blanket the hospital had given him for a year while grieving his death.

"The blanket was something tangible to take home," says mother Amy Reid. "It smelled like him. It became a tangible comfort object."

Today, Reid still treasures that blanket-one of the items her baby had touched that she brought home from the hospital-as a physical symbol of her son, who died from a rare chromosomal abnormality.

And even though her hands are full with two other children and a third due next month, Reid is leading a community service effort in Berkeley to give other parents the gift that she treasured so dearly.

Reid started The Brightest Little Star project to organize community volunteers to sew blankets and scent dolls for babies in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit at Alta Bates Summit Medical Center, so if the babies do not survive, the parents will have something with which to remember them.

"I would love for every parent who goes home without a baby in their arms, that they can carry out something tangible, that they could carry out a blanket," Reid says.

Reid's project, which began as a church youth group activity a couple years ago, has since made 300 blankets. The blankets, which have been distributed to babies and their parents at Alta Bates, are star-patterned flannel with another larger flannel star sewn on.

In addition to the blankets, project volunteers will make scent dolls that parents can sleep with to take on their scents and then give to their babies in the intensive care unit.

Alison Brooks, a clinical nurse specialist at Alta Bates, says the dolls and blankets contribute to personalizing the hospital cribs.

"The sense of smell is a very potent sensory organ," she says. "When parents leave the baby in the nursery, they can continue to smell their parents."

Brooks says about 1,600 babies each year spend time in intensive care.

Reid is now partnering with Suzanne Steinberg, co-owner of Stone Mountain and Daughter Fabrics on Shattuck Avenue to involve more of the Berkeley community with the project. Steinberg has helped in buying the fabric at a low price and is providing her time and sewing facilities for volunteers to make the blankets.

"I've been looking for a project like this for years," says Steinberg. "We've got the machines, we've got the space. We want to create a space for people who share common values to come together and do some good."

Eleven volunteers attended the first community sewing event yesterday afternoon, and Reid and Steinberg say they are expecting about 20 this evening for the second event from 7 to 9 p.m. at Stone Mountain and Daughter Fabrics. Volunteers were able to make 30 blankets at yesterday's event, Steinberg said.

Brooks says parents are very positive about the blankets and feel very grateful.

Reid and Steinberg both said they hope The Brightest Little Star project will foster a sense of community among both Berkeley residents and the parents of the deceased newborns.

"That feeling of community is so hard to create that I really feel people are looking for it," Steinberg says.

Reid says she hopes the blankets will help parents work through one of the most emotionally devastating experiences possible.

"You can't describe the emotion at a time like that in your life," she says, adding that the blankets will be a symbol not only of the baby, but of the community support. "Someone was thinking about this moment, and took the time to make this. I think if it only touches a few ... it will be a great thing."

Steinberg says the blankets cost about $5 each. Donations, including $400 from a mothers' group who heard about the project from a newspaper article last year, help cover financial costs. Marcus Brothers Textiles is also providing a discount rate for the fabric.

Reid and Steinberg say they hope the project will spread to other communities, but that they plan to keep their involvement local.

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