Get Fed

After the renowned eatery Sumo Burger left the hallowed halls of Sather Lane, the Berkeley community wept. It was as if we had lost a family member—a dangerously cheap, above-average burger joint of a family member whose name unfortunately combined two dissociated ethnic cuisines. However, citizens of Berkeley can rest at ease, as the KoKo Express Gourmet Food eatery recently opened in the same location to continue the legacy of cheapness, mediocrity, bizarre food combinations, and hilariously named establishments. Just try not laughing when you say that name to your friends.

When I walked into KoKo, I was immediately struck by two things—the color of the walls and the Godzilla-sized plasma screen hanging on one of them. Walls of red, yellow, green and blue, reminiscent of Mondrian paintings, greeted me as I tried to move toward the counter, but I could only marvel at the minimalism that contrasted sharply with the looming, behemoth television. These things were a bit overwhelming, but I tried to maintain my composure and observe the menus.

Obviously, the most intriguing part of KoKo is its diverse selection of food. Diners can choose chili cheeseburgers, Reuben sandwiches, chicken and barbecue pork rice bowls, meat lasagna, assorted soups and salads, and almost anything in between, save for, alas, chicken tikka masala. Nothing on the menu exceeds $5.50, and with the grand opening, customers receive a 20 percent discount.

Choosing not to be adventurous, I ordered a cheeseburger with avocado combo, which has a choice of fries or onion rings and a drink. Thanks to the discount, my total cost for this meal was a shade over $5, the least I’d spent for dinner at Berkeley thus far. That’s a steal, and I got, for the most part, all of my money’s worth.

The term gourmet has always been tough to define entirely, at least when it comes to food. One usually expects it to mean quality and bursting with taste, but at a certain price. Thus, at KoKo, you receive the best quality and bursting with taste food that $5.50 will afford you. Fortunately, that Usher concert on the gargantuan flat-screen is complimentary.

That said, when I received my avocado cheeseburger, I noticed something that I have not seen in nearly 18 years of carnivorousness: grated cheddar cheese on top of my burger. This decision was absolutely perplexing to me. Had they simply run out of sliced cheese? Would I have to wait until the cheese melted? Would these miniscule, pitiful comparisons to a large slice o’ dairy fall off my burger when I picked it up?

Fortunately, the meat was decently sized and well-cooked, the avocados were ripe enough, and the rest of the ingredients were fresh. My first bite proved that grated cheddar cheese was an acceptable means of creating a cheeseburger, albeit not the greatest way, but it’s a gourmet restaurant so I guess doing things differently is just par for the course. Plus, the onion rings that came with the meal were truly phenomenal, so I’d recommend getting the combo with any dish, or just rings by themselves for $2.25.

KoKo’s specialty is primarily the sandwiches and burgers, so I wouldn’t suggest straying from the traditional American cuisine and purchasing anything else. I did try the shrimp linguine, and it’s not worth the dollar you would save from eating at a better, specifically Italian business like Gypsy’s. Although the shrimp was well cooked and the tomatoes fresh, the sauce was too watery and bland to be worthy of the term “gourmet.”

Overall, KoKo is a decently priced eatery with good portions and above-average flavored foods. For the dirt-cheap price, though, it’s well worth it, and filling up an empty stomach on $5 of food is an amazing feeling.

That is, if you can stop laughing over the name and get the food in your mouth.

Tags: