anthony.online

Jon and Kate Plus 8 (phones)

Life in the Matrix

To the producers of TLC’s Hoarders: Here’s a season finale for ya. According to the multibillion, multinational networking firm from the south side of the Bay, Cisco Systems, this year mobile devices will actually outnumber those who consider mobiles’ prices. There will be more number-padded, data-drinking fully charged smartphones and Read More…

kia(new).web

No thanks, I’m coughing

Yuck, I’m sick. Actually, I’ve now been sick for almost two weeks, and it’s only slowly going away — despite all the DayQuil and codeine syrup. This episode is so gross. There’s the congestion; the sniffly, runny nose; the incessant coughing fits; the headache from the coughing fits; the phlegm in Read More…

andrewdavis.online

The sweet science of snap

Words have failed us. The up and down head nod has gone the way of the dinosaur and applause is something reserved only for the State of the Union or the final lecture of the semester. In their place: the snap. No, these snappers aren’t keeping time. They aren’t snapping Read More…

margaret.online

Strong coffee & bad poems

Please sir, can I have some more?” Oliver Twist was just a small, blonde, English orphan with an empty metal bowl and a big dream. He ran out of gruel. He wanted more. So do I, and so, I postulate, do you. Allow me to explain. Is it Thursday already? Read More…

anthony.online

A little birdie told me …

@DailyCalReaders: I wish I could keep this to just one sentence. #ThingsWomenWant. Last week I offered my downloadable service as a shaman for your digital adventures. Thank you for supporting @TonyJesus. Your free trial has 10 columns left. At the end, you will be asked to complete a customer satisfaction Read More…

kia(new).web

Happy birthday, Cupid!

Valentine’s Day. Or rather, Singles Awareness Day. What a horrible and exclusionary holiday. I mean, if you don’t have a “special someone,” what are you supposed to do? Give all your friends boxes of sweetheart candy with little messages written on them? Sure — if you’re 8 years old. Let’s Read More…

casey.given.online

The myth of partisanship

Once upon a time in a land not so far away, there was a vast empire whose arms stretched across the globe. Although it was not a monarchy, its political class ruled with the wrath of kings and queens. They conquered foreign kingdoms in a hopeless hunt for bogeymen they Read More…

andrewdavis.online

Kind of like peas in a pod

I grew up behind the orange curtain in a city of wide streets and Del Taco. One of those suburban cookie-cutter places in Orange County, the kind of scene subject to satire after satire, was home to me for 18 years. Then I made the great pilgrimage to Berkeley — perhaps Read More…

margaret.online

This column is important

Many guides to writing will offer this writer’s truism: “Write what you know.” Usually, I completely disagree. The power of a writer’s imagination enables them to write good fiction based on experiences they have not lived and to give life on the page to people they have never met. Some Read More…

anthony.online

America Online

01010111011. In other words, welcome 2 the information age. Before you click away from this article, let me suggest that you’re living a life entirely more convenient, more expansive, more open to infinite exploration and possibility than has ever before been lived by any generation on this (now completely digitally Read More…