jessica

TV Land: It’s not lupus, it’s the end

This is the end. If I were more eloquent, I might delight you all with an- inspirational quote. But alas, the only saying that comes to mind is: “Jessica, please put a shirt on.” It’s something that my roommate tells me frequently because I’m staunchly anti-clothing and pro making her
Read More…

jessica

TV Land: The young and the restless

There’s no use avoiding the main television event of this week. Clay Aiken had his hand up a puppet’s ass on “The Celebrity Apprentice” and everybody was talking about it. No they weren’t. Who am I kidding? Everybody was (is) talking, texting, telegraphing and carrier pigeon messaging about Lena Dunham’s
Read More…

jessica

TV Land: The power of the press — TV versus print

This column had four different introductions before I decided on counting them, drinking a glass of chocolate milk and then writing this sentence. And boy am I glad I wrote it. Look at it there in its stunning radiance. Truth is, it’s been a difficult week. Monday was most unpleasant.
Read More…

jessica

Election 2012: pop star politics

T.S. Eliot was right. April really is the cruelest month. Except for April 12 (my birthday a.k.a. the best day in the world), the month doesn’t have that much going for it. It’s a predictably pleasant month. Sometimes there’s sun. Sometimes there’s rain. Sometimes there’s a collective groan that can
Read More…

jessica

TV Land: The madness of modern media

There’s only one thing on my mind this week. And no, it’s not pornography or Pop-Tarts. Those are so last semester. No. What I have in mind is far more glorious. It’s the return of “Mad Men” this Sunday on AMC. For nearly two years, we’ve been mired in a
Read More…

jessica

TV Land: I believe in fandom

Lester Butterfill was in the bathroom for the second time that day. This was not uncommon, for Lester dearly loves the porcelain thrones of the restroom. Occasionally, he would sit on one to relax or to take a load off (in the figurative and literal sense). But this time was
Read More…

jessicapena.columnist1

TV Land: The history of The History Channel

It’s March now, which means two things — an excuse (like I need one) to eat copious amounts of pie on the 14th and the beginning of Women’s History Month. I don’t know what it is about the month of March that caters to the particular character of females other
Read More…

jessicapena.columnist1

TV Land: Shoutout to all the Ladies

Ah, the ladies. I know a thing or two about them. Mainly because I am one of them. I think. I did find a hair growing on my chin that may be the first indication of a beard. But, nevertheless, I’m fairly certain I retain all the requisite parts: fallopian
Read More…

oscar3

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Glenn Close

People often ask me every February, “Are you excited for the Academy Awards?” It behooves me as a “film critic” (fuck off!) to offer a very emphatic, compulsory “Yes!” in response to this question, which pulls at my shirtsleeves all year like a nagging child. But each year, my enthusiasm
Read More…

jessicapena.columnist1

TV Land: Cinematic slump — the TV movie

Lemonade Mouth. Yes, those two words exist together and no, it doesn’t make any sense as to why. The Disney Channel seems to think this was a cute title for one of their original movies involving a band with an affinity for citrusy beverages. I think it’s part of a
Read More…