From my understanding, the lecture aimed to draw parallels between vision and sentence structure to illustrate the importance of context in interpreting visual information. The lesson I took home, however, was that headline-writing abilities are extremely important — otherwise, one may erroneously suggest that certain teachers are particularly abusive or that several foot doctors are unnaturally tall. Perhaps that’s just my way of convincing myself that my job at the newspaper is completely relevant to psychology and cognitive science studies, but that sounds like a personal problem …

In any case, that last headline really speaks to me.

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Ignorance of obscure grammar rules is one thing, but silly mistakes like this are nigh unforgivable. Penguin Books, you appear to have very little respect for someone you hail as “one of the great writers of the twentieth century.”

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I was elated. I had wanted to intern for a major newspaper for years, and, with the Post’s offer, my dream appeared to finally be reaching fruition.

I soon discovered, however, that my travails were far from over. Attaining the internship was the easy part. Infinitely more difficult was searching for affordable housing in a suitable location.

After some immeasurable quantity of time spent sifting through the bottomless abyss that is Craigslist, I began to lose hope. Suddenly, however, I encountered a favorable listing: Someone was offering a furnished studio apartment in Dupont Circle for only $1,395 a month.

Unfortunately, the posting’s content led me to look elsewhere — and not solely due to the actual price:

Unsurprisingly, I have no desire to live in a specious room. While I will never ascertain why, exactly, the room is specious — as my dear poster declined to include pictures — I can certainly conjecture.

Perhaps the balcony is the only existing part of the room, with the remainder being a mere but well-fabricated facade. Perhaps the room does, in fact, exist but possesses qualities that are mathematically infeasible.

More likely, of course, is that my dear poster is simply in need of a copy editor. I would be happy to offer my services in exchange for his apartment, and there’s nothing specious about that.

The post Will copy edit for lodging appeared first on The Daily Californian.

If I were to tell one of these candidates that I am a disinterested voter, I may get a look of shock or dismay. Often, the word “disinterested” is confused with its similar-sounding relative “uninterested.” Both are often taken to mean an unengaged person or someone who just doesn’t care. However, while those descriptions represent someone who is uninterested, “disinterested” means nonbiased. Where an uninterested voter would be someone who does not care about the elections, a disinterested voter would be one who is interested but does not align him or herself with a certain political party or organization. Confusion over the two terms may stem from the fact that “disinterested” used to mean what “uninterested” means today. However, in terms of the current definitions of the words, I am a disinterested voter all the way. Uninterested? Never.

The post A disinterested voter appeared first on The Daily Californian.

Every city has similar tourist bait: location-specific grammar quirks that show up on Urban Dictionary instead of in Merriam-Webster’s. In San Francisco, one “rides BART,” not “takes the BART.” “Hella” is to be used only as an adjective.

Around campus, Tele-BEARS is the personified villain of the Cal school system. Use of the third gender pronoun “ze” is taken in stride. To say you want to “hit the stacks” is relevant only to our own Moffitt Library and would likely be met with confusion on any other campus. We at The Daily Californian refrain from using either “chairwoman” or “chairman” but instead adopt the genderless metonym “chair.”

The point is that grammar and vocabulary are certainly not as simple as a set of fixed and universal rules set by uppity nitpickers. Both grammar and language are dependent on arbitrary factors like location or even popular culture (YOLO, anyone?) Grammar’s purpose is to provide language with clarity and specificity, and language changes with use.

Our ability to change language by using it correctly or incorrectly imbues every one of us with a certain responsibility. In 2003, University of Edinburgh linguistics professor Geoffrey Pullum coined the term “eggcorn” in reference to a person who misspelled the word “acorn.” An eggcorn is a phenomenon in which a person mistakenly substitutes a word or phrase for words that sound similar. Eggcorns are very much like puns but are unintentional mistakes that have found their way our collective lexicon. For example, many accidentally say “The Notebook” made them “ball” instead of “bawl,” that they “wrecked” havoc instead of “wreaking” it and — perhaps most egregiously — spell “voila” as “walla.”

Do your part. Practice safe syntax.

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So, naturally, I decided that there was only one thing to do: avoid the problem entirely by mentally retreating to a better time.

The procrastinator in me was pleased with this idea and immediately began scrolling through old pictures. Happy memories came flooding back: baking cookies during winter break, seeing old friends for New Year’s, the novelty of a new semester, the excitement of karaoke night for my sorority’s bid day …

And then, I ran into this:

Well, apparently, I looked to the wrong place for peace of mind and an escape from reality, as bad grammar is antithetical to both of those things. Back to reality it is.

“Could of”? Really? For as long as I can remember, this particular written error has occurred with outrageous frequency. Someone somewhere is probably insisting that he “would of done it” if he had time. Elsewhere, excuses are likely being made: “I could of done better.”

The crime against language here is simple: These individuals have erroneously substituted “of” for “have.” In actuality, one would have done something. One could have done better. The contractions “would’ve” or “could’ve” are equally correct.

Unfortunately, the error continues to propagate, but it’s easy to see why. In spoken language, “could of” and “could have” sound painfully identical and therefore are likely to translate incorrectly into the written word. Misspellings and incorrect usage often occur as a result of auditory ambiguity, after all. Furthermore, as an individual exposed to an abundance of karaoke in her 20 years, I can certainly vouch for the fact that karaoke lyrics often need a good copy edit. In the end, it’s almost understandable …

But then again, why am I making excuses for the individual responsible for this atrocity? That person could have done better.

The post Karaoke and hypotheticals appeared first on The Daily Californian.

1. Seasons

Unless you are referring to the Four Seasons, there is no reason for seasons to be capitalized. Therefore, we are on spring break, not Spring break. (Definitely never Spring Break, for which there is no justification.) And there is no such thing as a Flu Season; flu season, on the other hand, seems to last year-round.

2. Holidays

Let me clarify that the names of holidays are capitalized — Christmas, Easter, Independence Day and the like. The word “holiday” itself, however, is usually not. The third Thursday of November can be called Thanksgiving  or the Thanksgiving holiday, but it is not the Thanksgiving Holiday. Similarly, any greeting card wishing anyone “Happy Holidays!” is grammatically incorrect.

3. Geographical directions

The Eastern Seaboard, West Oakland, the South. All of these are correct. But then all of a sudden, we don’t capitalize the “southern” border of the United States, and the sun sets in the “west” instead of the “West.” (Incidentally, the sun does both, but we are usually referring to the former.) Just remember that the examples listed first, in which directions are capitalized, denote specific geographical regions. This is pretty much the only case in which north, south, east and west are capitalized.

4. Miscellaneous…?

If I myself sound confused, it is because I am. And I think other people are, too. This is the only reason I can come up with for why a flier might suggest I check out the “Amazing Sunset” from a certain hiking trail; it may also explain why someone would suggest I join a “Community Service Club.” The errors stem from an assumption that if a word is A) naming something, whether the proper name or not, B) an event, proper name or not, or C) it just looks right, it ought to be capitalized. Ummm, no.

My tip for capitalization in general is that if you are confused and cannot come up with a distinct grammatical reason for capitalizing something, then don’t. After all, some grammarians even call random capitalization a capital offense.

Come on. Appreciate the pun. Do it.

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While editing, I often ask myself this question, as writers often seem uncertain about whether to use “if” or “whether” in sentences.

Admittedly, this mistake is somewhat understandable: The words’ usages are somewhat similar (despite the difference being significant), and under limited circumstances, they can even be used interchangeably. As a copy editor, however, I cannot allow this error to persist, so here’s a simple explanation:

Whether should be used in a situation in which two alternatives exist.

• I don’t know whether I prefer Nabokov or Faulkner. — This one’s pretty simple. There are clearly two choices: Nabokov and Faulkner.
• Whether he will learn to punctuate properly is uncertain. — This is a little more complicated but still easy to understand. There are again two options: that he will learn (explicit) and that he won’t learn (implicit). Confusion typically arises from this case, as “if” isn’t always wholly incorrect in such scenarios.

If should be used in sentences presenting a condition.

• If you write cohesively, people will understand you. — Note that there aren’t two possibilities here. If you don’t learn to write cohesively, people will not understand you. People will understand you under the condition that you write cohesively.
• I will fix grammatical errors if I catch them. — Under the condition that I find errors, I will rectify them.

If you follow these rules, you’ll never be in doubt about whether “if” or “whether” is correct.

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The issue at hand is as follows. I was idly thumbing through my reader, pretending to care about Barney Frank, when someone said to his friend on the phone, “Yeah, just call slash text me when you get here.”

No. In a word, no. I think I can feel my soul dying just a little bit when I hear statements like this. Obviously, I understand what this is supposed to mean. “Yeah, just call or text me when you get here.” But when did “slash” start meaning “or”? The answer is never. And just think for a moment: Which is easier to say, “slash” or “or”?

As is my wont, here are a few alternate potential meanings of this guy’s statement, with some musings as to their context.

“Yeah, just call Slash. Text me when you get here.” Slash is, of course, the local shady guy from whom one purchases shady goods.

“Yeah, just call — Slash (the) text! — me when you get here.” The text has wronged him and needs to be punished.

As with the intent behind his original statement, I don’t understand. I don’t understand at all.

I concede that as the times change, so does our usage of words. In fact, our understanding of words and their meaning changes too. Therefore, I’m completely fine with someone saying he needs to write an essay and miming typing with his hands. But this situation, and those like it, bothers me so much because the word change doesn’t even contribute to our convenience or the scope of the English language.

And the use of “Internet-speak,” as I call it, is on the rise. Evelyn just admitted to saying quite often, “I J K.” Yes, dear. And that is followed by L-M-N-O-P. I suppose this is why I am the English major.

This boils down quite predictably to fear for my beloved English language. With the way it is transforming, I have to echo the sentiments of the middle-school girl Evelyn mentors: “Just Kik me.” You might as well.

The post Just Kik me now appeared first on The Daily Californian.

It’s a grammar lesson that’s taught time and again, but for some reason, it needs to be reiterated once more.

Who refers to a subject. Whom refers to an object.

If that doesn’t mean anything to you, maybe this will help.

He is a subject. Him is an object.

Ask yourself a who/whom question. If you can answer it with a “he,” you should have used “who.” If you can answer it with a “him,” you should have used “whom.”

Who ate my bacon? He ate your bacon! Not a lot of people mess this one up.

From whom did you get that watch? I got it from him. I realize not that many people actually talk like this, but I assure you, it’s the grammatically correct way.

I sent the text to Alex last night. To whom? To him. “To who?” is incorrect, just as “to he” would be. “For who?” is incorrect. “From who?” is incorrect.

Whom did I fall in love with? I fell in love with him, the dude who knows his “who’s” from “whom’s.” Who knows his “who’s” from “whom’s?” He does!

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