Daily Cal Intelligence Bureau dispatches from World Cup Russia

The World Cup is an athletic tournament held every four years among the globe’s elite soccer teams.The event is being held in Russia but the United States did not receive an invitation — I have assets who suggest that it might be because of Operation ____ in Trinidad and shifting NATO forces along Russia’s western flanks.
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Group E to H, 2018 FIFA World Cup teams to root for

Anyway, America has no team to root for, and so we at the intersection of Byte and Bear have decided to compile a scientific, five-star safety-rated, and most importantly Leonard-approved list of World Cup squads to follow. Here are four teams from the last four groups that you should follow — Costa Rica, Germany, Belgium and Senegal.
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No Team USA, countries to root for in the 2018 FIFA World Cup

There will be no Clint Dempsey, Christian Pulisic or “American Outlaws” chants. No opinions about the men’s national team from people who haven’t watched since the last World Cup or lazy think pieces about the future of American men’s soccer. There is no consolation prize or solace in “getting them next year.”
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