Jan Flatley-Feldman/File

Rainy day pick up lines

Stormy skies. Drenched clothes. Sticky skin. Sounds like a romantic’s wet dream come to life. Take advantage of the falling temperatures and melt your cold heart by finding your bae in the Bay Area. More than half of the semester has already passed, and time is running out. Now’s your chance
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coloreditedWeekender1_AlvaroAzcarraga

Humor: An Open Letter to the Pedestrians on Campus

All I ask is that you trust me. Because the thing is, I am very good at this. I am an artist, a genius. I can calculate the trajectories of bent-necked chemistry students with their noses touching their phone screens, of rubber-necked French tour groups, of stiff-necked moped drivers buzzing
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Godly Positioning System

A man is driving to a dinner party and he gets to an intersection and he doesn’t know which path to take, so he looks down at his navigation device. Except the device recently discovered religion and has since been kind of preachy. “Recalculate route,” says the driver. “Don’t follow
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