masturbation.COURTESY

A penetrative history of spanking the monkey

Taming the trouser snake, frosting the pie, unlocking the chamber of secrets, battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger — we all know what these phrases really mean. It’s been around since human beings first realized hands could be useful for something other than high-fiving and biting one’s thumb in insult.
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Academic Senate to hold runoff election for Divisional Council

After an initial election failed to yield clear winners, the Berkeley Division of the Academic Senate has called for a runoff election to elect three at-large members to its Divisional Council. The senate represents faculty in UC governance and determines academic policy, sets admission standards, authorizes course curricula and more.
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