SEX ON TUESDAY: Questions for a call girl

It is 8 p.m. on a Friday night, and I have a date with one of San Francisco’s most notorious escorts. Samantha Spiegel, also known as Farrah Habiba, has agreed to meet me in Pacific Heights for a drink at the Lion Pub. As I am getting seated, Samantha walks in wearing a pair of black suede heels, Catwoman-esque mesh tights and a slouchy mid-length tee. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who looks quite like Samantha, but her smoky eyes and porcelain skin bring to mind model Gia Carangi circa 1979.

At the young age of 21, Samantha is an independent businesswoman who specializes in VIP escorting and the girlfriend experience. She is absolutely captivating as she immediately talks at ease about how she combines liberal feminism with her BDSM lifestyle and how she finds “vanilla sex” boring. We chatted about her sex life, most recent tattoos and her progressive take on the world’s oldest profession.

SOOJIN CHANG:Samantha, you attended a prestigious school in San Francisco and grew up in an upper-class neighborhood. If money wasn’t the draw, what influenced your life choices in becoming an escort?

SAMANTHA SPIEGEL: I knew what sex was by the time I was six years old. It was never a hidden, disguised concept for me. I have always been naturally attracted to older men. I remember having my earliest sexual fantasies about my elementary school teachers. Everyone has a certain type, so to say. Mine just happen to be older men. I guess you can call that a type of reverse pedophilia. Younger guys my age do nothing for me physically or emotionally. Because I began to explore my sexuality so early on, by the time I was 14 or 15, I was sure this is what I wanted to do. I knew who and what turned me on.

SC: What are your interests and hobbies when you are not working?

SS:I love the ocean. I am a very passionate sailor. I used to sing and act in the opera for over 10 years. I am very much in to fashion and art. For a year, I attended Academy of Art University, where I was studying fashion design. For two years, I was taking college courses in psychology.  I read a lot of psychology journals. I speak French fluently and know how to read Hebrew and Arabic. I’m also interested in theology and mixing different aspects of religion. I am overall fascinated with refuting the idea that anything is ever one-size fits all.

SC: I’m guessing that you like to combine art and sex. Anything recent that was especially gratifying?

SS: Yes. It was the opening night of the San Francisco Opera and Turandot was playing. He was in a full black tie outfit with coattails. He looked like Jay Gatsby. I was in a couture gown. We ended up having sex in one of those really nice bathrooms in City Hall.

SC: People criticize the escort and rarely the men, when it’s a two-way street. Who are your clientele?

SS: With my new website, which I want to keep improving and make even more professional, I tend to draw in the artists and the businessmen. I’m really particular about how they present themselves. Because it’s not like you’re just walking in, having sex and saying goodbye. You at least want to be able to have an engaging conversation with the person. I encounter many older men in their late 50s and 60s who are incredibly successful but are really lonely, socially inept or don’t really have time to make real connections with women. Some of the time, all that my clients want to do is talk. And I’ll chat with them, if that’s what they need. It kind of feels like therapy. But of course, people don’t want to see it this way.

SC: You work independently now. What made you decide to do this?

SS: I learned that if I’m going to prostitute, I never want to have a pimp again. I’ve had two very bad experiences with pimps. And here’s the funny thing — both of them were lawyers. The younger lawyer imprisoned me in his apartment, beat me and raped me. Recently, I was reading (the headlines about an attorney who allegedly raped women he met online). And I thought to myself “that sounds a lot like (him).” And it was. His defense was that it was not rape and it was consensual. But there is a very fat line between BDSM and raping and beating a woman.

SC: How’s your love life lately?

SS: I’m terrible at dating, but I do have a lot of lovers that remain very constant in my life. Right now, I have a master who is a forensic psychologist. I’m the submissive, and he’s the master. And then there are others that are just the one-night stands. I’m kind of moving on from these though. I never feel good after a one-night stand. I’m sure no one really does.

SC: I really like all the tattoos. What do they mean to you?

SS: Thank you. I recently got them done in Amsterdam. I have the letter K for my master. The word “slave” on my wrist represents total power exchange and being a slave to my master. The handcuffs represent three different things: BDSM and the two serial killers that I dated ­— Richard Allen Davis and Richard Ramirez.

SC: One of the many generalizations regarding this profession is that the women involved do not respect their bodies. Do you feel like this is true?

SS: Actually, I have much more respect for my body image now, and I stress much less about my appearance. I used to be made fun of in high school for having small breasts, and now I’m learning that men love them. I also used to have serious eating disorders. After going to rehab and working through it, I’m not 100 lbs like I was in high school, but I’m learning that men love my body. So in some ways, by being an escort or a girlfriend companion, I’ve discovered what men —  real men, and not just some 18- or 19-year-old guy who thinks you should look like Jenna Jameson — actually like.

SC: Any regrets?

SS: I think having confidence in your sexuality is a skill. So if you have a skill and you’re good at it, why not use it? Why be ashamed of it? I’m very comfortable with my sexuality. I’m not ashamed of it at all.  Even after all the death threats, I’m not going to retract anything. I don’t regret being in relationships with any of these men. Just like with tattoos — I don’t really get why people get rid of them. You have things that represent certain times of your life.