Finding love … or just ‘UC Berkeley Hook-Ups’

If you use Facebook, which you probably do unless you actually have a life, you should know by now that the ubiquitous networking site has become a Godlike fixture in society. Apart from Google — which is also creepy as hell — Facebook knows more about you than your best friends and psychology professor know combined. Its influence now spans the Web with the annoyingly pale thumbs up and share buttons on each webpage. It vomits others’ Spotify choices all over your newsfeed, in addition to prominently displaying the preferred news sources of some users. Everyone can see it too — from the ticker that shows you information about people whose names you wouldn’t have thought existed to the intrusive graph search that apparently has no regard whatsoever for your privacy.

Now you can add an eHarmony-type feature to that growing list. With the recent surge in popularity of the Facebook page “UC Berkeley Compliments,” people are beginning to realize how they can utilize the true power of Facebook for themselves. One Cal student has taken it upon himself to be the school’s cupid — or some raunchy version of Cupid. In a little less than a week of existence, the UC Berkeley Hook-Ups page has garnered a total of 1,535 likes and has posted more than 20 anonymous stories about wild nights and shy what-ifs. The page is designed so that people — who were likely under the influence of the newest trend — could find their significantly drunk others without actually remembering their names. Despite the intrinsic Barney Stinson-esque vibe of the page, it’s actually remarkable how weird some people can be in the most intimate of moments.

Alternatively, it can serve as a rather useful safeguard. After taking a second to scroll through the posts — and vomit — you’ll know to circumvent the dungeons of Moffitt and to never trust your roommate’s flirtatious demeanor ever again. The moderator must be making out fairly well — considering that he or she has the phone numbers of all the sexually promiscuous people in Berkeley.

Meanwhile, an almost identically named Facebook page has failed to gain traction in the Cal romance world, only managing to collect a couple hundred friends in a little under two weeks. However, this version, like the other, has already been targeted by those sensitive to heteronormativity, grammar Nazis, preeminently wronged guys and womanizers, though it apparently has had few to no story submissions.

It’s a good laugh if you’ve got a few extra minutes at the end of a lecture … or, you know, if you actually want to find some shady person with whom you may or may not have locked lips — and a lot more — last night. So give those pages a like, but remember to reset your privacy settings to spare the awesome wrath of Facebook stalkers — pretty much every student on campus has mutual friends because of these pages. We at the Clog are just going to stick to the compliments, though.

Follow Uday on Twitter at @mehtakid

Image source: Chloe Hunt, The Daily Californian