Five words to spice up your vocabulary

Akira Akasura/Flickr

We’ve all been there. It’s late at night, and you’ve just started your six-page essay that’s due tomorrow. Well, technically today, because it’s 2 a.m. It’s you versus the paper. You’re frantically writing, eyes glued to the word count at the bottom of your document. You don’t want to sound like an idiot, so you pull up Thesaurus.com and start looking up synonyms to spice up your blatantly mediocre diction. Do you sound like a pedantic jerk? Probably. But now it’s 4 a.m. and you really don’t care.

Though the Clog does not suggest exploiting Thesaurus.com, we admit that it’s useful — and, as we’ll show you today, kind of entertaining. Facebook isn’t the only thing that’s distracting when you’re trying to be productive. We discovered some seriously weird and obsolete words, and we want to share them with you:

1. Katzenjammer. “Katzenjammer” is another word for “hangover.” It comes from the German words “katze,” which means “cats,” and “jammer,” which means “distress.” We can’t really explain how a cat in distress inspired the word “hangover.” Other than that when humans get hangovers, we, too, are in distress.

2. Mooncalf. It’s another word for “idiot.” Airhead, birdbrain, dope, goon, dummy, turkey, simpleton, ratbag — we think “mooncalf” is definitely the best one.

3. Charientism. “Charientism” refers to an elegantly concealed insult. It’s an art. If executed properly, you should not be able to recall being the victim of a “charientism.”

4. Gambrinous. To be gambrinous is to be content due to a stomach full of beer. Gambrinus was a king of Flanders, and an unofficial saint of, you guessed it, beer!

5. Lalochezia. “Lalochezia” describes that moment when you’re so stressed out and angry that you start spurting out the foulest language possible to relieve stress and pain.

That concludes the Clog’s list of fantastically bizarre words. We challenge you to find a way to squeeze them into a casual conversation. But please don’t use them in your essays.

Contact Sabrina Werts at [email protected]