In early December 2012, I awoke to a phone call informing me I would be working on the Washington Post’s copy desk in the summer.

I was elated. I had wanted to intern for a major newspaper for years, and, with the Post’s offer, my dream appeared to finally be reaching fruition.

I soon discovered, however, that my travails were far from over. Attaining the internship was the easy part. Infinitely more difficult was searching for affordable housing in a suitable location.

After some immeasurable quantity of time spent sifting through the bottomless abyss that is Craigslist, I began to lose hope. Suddenly, however, I encountered a favorable listing: Someone was offering a furnished studio apartment in Dupont Circle for only $1,395 a month.

Unfortunately, the posting’s content led me to look elsewhere — and not solely due to the actual price:

Unsurprisingly, I have no desire to live in a specious room. While I will never ascertain why, exactly, the room is specious — as my dear poster declined to include pictures — I can certainly conjecture.

Perhaps the balcony is the only existing part of the room, with the remainder being a mere but well-fabricated facade. Perhaps the room does, in fact, exist but possesses qualities that are mathematically infeasible.

More likely, of course, is that my dear poster is simply in need of a copy editor. I would be happy to offer my services in exchange for his apartment, and there’s nothing specious about that.