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Porn with a purpose

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APRIL 19, 2013

Porn is great. While many find pornography to be disgraceful, inappropriate and vile, I find porn to be an excellent means of sex talk and education.

But not all porn is beneficial, as much of it is falsified and altered to fit a certain commodity framework. However, the porn I’m talking about is porn with a purpose: to excite and educate its viewers, not to replace their personal sex lives.

Porn provides a medium for education, exploration and art. There are so many genres and subgenres of porn out there, ranging from barebacking orgies to softcore to bondage — everyone should be able to find an outlet for sexual creativity in porn. I think that viewers are drawn by intimacy and curiosity of others’ sexual fantasies in order to meld their own.

Recently, I spoke with a friend regarding my sex blog, in particular the implications of being open to discussing sexuaity. The conversation naturally progressed into discussing commitments and pornography — not just theory, but rather social problems. It’s vital to be clear with partners regarding porn usage. If your partner isn’t ok with bringing porn into the relationship, recognize their discomfort and talk it through. Porn is an artistic medium that is immediately shut down when discussed, but there are many pornographic merits that go unspoken. There is awesome radical feminist queer porn, anti-patriarchal sado masochism porn, and porn that interacts with viewers directly (chat rooms, wrestling tournaments, etc.) out there that needs to be spoken about.

Ethical porn can be found at sites like Kink, which so happens to be based in San Francisco in the Mission. I recently toured their studios at the San Francisco Armory and saw magnificent filming sets, learned more about the mechanics and architecture of a pornographic set and discussed the benevolence of a pornography conglomerate such as Kink.

Kink is a BDSM-oriented video business that makes BDSM and bondage more accessible to all. Unlike some other pornographic hubs, Kink makes sure to emphasise “real” porn in that it requires actors to consent and enjoy their work. As long as porn is ethical, which is indeed possible thanks to sites like Kink, porn is an excellent means of communication and exploration.

Although many types of pornography portray exaggerated orgasms and minimal foreplay, remember what type of porn you are referring to. The free stuff is free for a reason: These clips are often excerpts from longer, full-length films. Because some find the orgasms and timeliness of porn to be misleading, their arguments are incoherent in that they usually refer to short segments of a longer, more foreplay- and orgasm-heavy film. It is important to note that much of the commonly used, free pornographic sites purposely cut clips in order to keep providing free material. Just be wary and knowledgeable about what you watch.

Porn-induced erectile dysfunction is a serious problem not to jerk around with. Although there is psychological reasoning behind how one would develop porn-induced erectile dysfunction, I simply believe that the issue lies in an imbalance in the relation between the self and the other. Make sure to make “the self” happy, whether it be by watching porn, masturbating or reading erotica. But also make sure to focus in on the outward relation with “the other” by going out on dates, hitting the bath house or spending time with your partner in bed. I believe that as long as you don’t put too much attention into porn, there should be no worry about developing porn-induced erectile dysfunction.

If you’re an avid porn-watcher and are worrying about your habits unwantedly carrying over into your relationships, I would recommend being clear to your partners as to what exactly you like, consent to and appreciate in the art of pornography.

Image Source: IsabelleTheDreamer via Creative Commons

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APRIL 19, 2013