For those of you unaware of the typical behavior of certain phallic genitalia — which probably extends to very few of us at Cal — they tend to perspire. The highest concentrations of these moist, dripping reproductive organs tend to be around those who emerge from the RSF without showering, those exhausted from their long climb up to Foothill and the people flyering on Sproul in the scorching heat. This can often cause discomfort and self-consciousness in those who suffer from this affliction. Elmwood’s iteration of the Lululemon Athletica Store, however, has fortunately remedied this problem. Their advertisement for boxer briefs, to the chagrin of many, reads “Got Sweaty Balls?”
This comes as a bit of a surprise, considering that the founder of Lululemon, Chip Wilson, believes in a key value from the Ayn Rand novel “Atlas Shrugged” — that people should pursue self-interest while naked. Naked, synonymous with the phrase “without clothes,” would imply that boxer briefs are not necessary in day-to-day life — yet one of his stores has displayed a controversial advertisement that goes against Wilson’s moral code.
But new evidence has brought to light that this may not be the case — employees at the Elmwood branch were responsible for the content and design of the ad, which was unsanctioned by the corporate headquarters located in Vancouver. A manager who went by the veiled alias “Joshua” called the display “unusual” and hinted that it would only be up in the store’s window for a little longer.
The store is not-so-conveniently located on College and Ashby — far enough away that your balls will definitely be sweaty by the time you finally get there. We at the Clog are currently unsure if they live up to the “Best. Boxer Briefs. Ever.” submotto, but with a price range upwards of $24, there must be something magical about them. There is no word yet on whether the briefs are in fact infused with seaweed, as the company has previously claimed with other products.
Reactions to the ad were imaginably mixed, ranging from outrage to mild amusement — the latter presumably on the part of adolescent young boys. One passerby noted that the campaign fails in terms of its marketing strategy since the great people of Elmwood do not experience sweaty balls. Naturally, the heightened conversation about the subject — for better or for worse — did draw attention to the store. The ad also spawned concerned parents looking for some decency and people who don’t mind a bit of harmless fun.
If you’re interested in sporting some boxers, the sculpted mannequins do look rather good in these multicolored undergarments — and we’re quite sure that their balls aren’t the slightest bit sweaty.