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How to be less of an asshole

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AUGUST 16, 2013

Sometimes we are douchebags. Sometimes it’s because of the heat; sometimes it’s because we’re stressed. Maybe you’re just an asshole. But if someone hasn’t already told you this, people don’t really like being friends with assholes. If you’re having trouble being less of one, here are few tips to help you out:

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Comparing yourself to other people inevitably leads you to be unhappy about yourself and things about yourself. This can cause you to talk smack about those around you for no reason. Being insecure about certain things, whether it’s physical, mental or emotional, will lead you to unnecessary despair. There’s always going to be someone prettier, smarter or better at salsa dancing than you are. And there’s always going to be someone prettier, smarter or better at wearing crop tops than that person. Being unhappy about these kinds of things creates vicious cycles, which lead to unhappiness, which will then lead to inevitable douchebaggery when you start talking shit about people to mask your own insecurities.

So instead of comparing yourself to other people, try pointing out the things that are great about you. Tell yourself, “Hey, I’m pretty damn good at soccer!” or  “You know what? I can rock a mean pair of high-waisted shorts.” Every time you compare yourself to someone else and put yourself down, pinch yourself! Classical conditioning, guys. It still works.

2. Sweat it out. Going outside or just going to the gym will get your endorphins running. If you don’t feel like you have enough motivation to go exercise, try and take some classes. Being around a bunch of people who are working out will encourage you to do so too, and taking aerobics, cycling, total conditioning and yoga classes around Berkeley and at the RSF are great ways to correct your form and obtain that natural high we all want. This natural high will allow you to be happier and more pleasant to those around you!

3. Be GRATEFUL. If you’re ever getting worked up about something that really pisses you off, you might end up with nothing except a really crappy mood. Bad moods can cause you to be a jerk and say jerky things, and that’s when you need to remember that nobody likes a jerk. Whenever you feel like this, sit down and force yourself to think of 10 things that you’re grateful for and actively make yourself feel grateful for them. It might be your dog, your best friend, the A you made in that CS class last semester. It’s very important that you do not turn this into something jerky though. Don’t say things like, “I’m so grateful that I’m not a stupid, ugly loser like Jeremy!” That will get you nowhere. Make sure to stay positive and genuinely realize all of the beautiful things in your life that you are fortunate enough to have!

4. Clean yourself. Warm water on naked skin is very relaxing, if you didn’t already know that. If you’re worked up about something and your douchiness level is at an all time high, take some time to take a nice relaxing bath or shower. This will calm you down, allow you to clean yourself after activities allow you to do those activities. Calming down will give you time to reflect on reasons you should be happy rather than focusing on being an asshole.

5. Try being alone. You can do all the activities listed above alone. (Or you can do No. 4 not alone, if you like to get freaky, yaknowwutimsayin?) But being alone will give you time to reflect and really give yourself reasons to not be an asshole. You can listen to music, read a book or maybe just sit and think. This will give you time to recognize the things you’re grateful for, and if you’re alone long enough, you’ll probably get lonely and realize you really want to go play with your friends! At that point, you’ll be very grateful to have friends and hopefully want to be nice to them and everyone else around you.

So just remember that when you’re feeling like a meanie and end up feeling sad and empty for being a meanie, try these things to help you be less of one!

Have any advice on being a more pleasant person to be around? Let us know in the comments!

Image source: ssoosay under Creative Commons

Contact Gabrielle Nguyen at [email protected]

AUGUST 16, 2013

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