‘I’m still hungover’ and other excuses for not being ready for spring semester

Haley Talbot/File

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Have you ever felt like you have a complete lack of control over your life? Us too. It’s called the beginning of the semester. Congratulations! During these first few weeks, you’ll be hearing plenty of excuses from your fellow students about why they are extremely unprepared for what’s to come, and we’ve compiled our favorites for you:

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“I just got back to Berkeley yesterday.” Some of us choose to come back to school the day before classes start in order to take full advantage of our breaks. However, this usually leads to a panic attack the night before classes start, after you realize you already have assignments due this week and you haven’t even begun thinking about buying books yet.

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“The break wasn’t long enough.” Most of us can agree on this one, mostly because our time was spent sleeping instead of being social human beings.

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“The holidays were stressful.” You spent a lot of time trying to figure out which presents would please your friends and families the most, spending your money on going out to eat with your high school friends every night,while simultaneously trying to not have negative money in your bank account. If that’s not stressful, we don’t know what is. (JK, we go to UC Berkeley).

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“I’m hungover.” Spring Welcome Week is not quite fall Welcome Week … although some choose to celebrate it the exact same way. You come back to school feeling like you have a week to TURN UP with the friends you haven’t seen all break, and then you realize you have to wake up at 9 a.m. in a few hours. Woops…

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“I’m sick.” Winter has attacked many of our immune systems, and as we all return in Berkeley, we should all be cautious to take our Vitamin C. Because when one UC Berkeley student gets sick, all of us do.

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“I’m not done binge-watching ‘Breaking Bad.’ ” Catching up on all your shows was your No. 1 priority for the break. And unfortunately, seeing as your holidays were so busy (i.e. you slept all day), you weren’t able to catch up with “Parks and Recreation” or “Game of Thrones.” So what’s your solution? Finish it all before syllabus week ends! Duh!

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“I’m a senior.” Wait, you’re a senior … so you don’t have to buy books for your classes? Or go to class? Or take exams? Wait, what? On the surface, “I’m a senior” seems like a legit excuse to be really YOLO about this semester, right? But what does that even mean?! Don’t you need buy books, go to class and take tests to graduate?!

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“I’m new here.” Congratulations to all the new spring admits at UC Berkeley! As your welcome gift, here are a bunch of assignments and readings due within the first two days of your first semester! Syllabus week doesn’t really mean “relax.” It means, “Get your life together before you’re scrambling to play catch-up with the rest of us.”

Image sources: whatshouldbetchescallmestealthyasianwedoitbettatailfeather23, Haley Talbot/Staff, redwineandtwinkiescollege-life-crisis

Contact Gabrielle Nguyen at [email protected]