Perhaps you read the title of this article and asked yourself, “This person is a copy editor?” Or maybe you thought, “The apostrophe’s what? What does it possess? Where is the noun?” Story of my life.
Sure, we always point out improper uses of “your” and “their,” but those debates — though much too foolish to even be considered worthy ones — have been futilely hashed out far too many times. Among the many blasphemous grammatical errors I encounter daily on social media, using an apostrophe coupled with an “s” to make a noun plural is undoubtedly one of the most heinous and unforgivable.
I feel ashamed that I actually have to explain the correct method of pluralizing a noun to the older readership of the Daily Cal, but I’m going to do it anyway. (I’d like to think I’m eradicating ignorance or something, but really I’m just a broke, novice copy editor with an attitude.) You add an “-s.” Sometimes you have to add an “-es” if the singular noun already ends in “-s” or change a “-y” to “-ies.” It’s usually as simple as that. What I don’t understand is why people feel the need to sneak in an apostrophe. When you do that, you aren’t pluralizing — you are indicating possession.
So, please, don’t ask the general public on Facebook if any “party’s” are happening tonight. I’ll just direct you to a “turnt up” third-grade English class.