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The pleasurable potential of going down

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MARCH 18, 2014

Blowjobs are a pivotal part of sex.

Today, women are almost expected to perform oral sex on their male partners, and, because blowjobs are amazing, men are not complaining. But despite knowing how pleasurable oral stimulation feels, many guys refuse to return the favor for their lady partners. This is a problem. I am here to explain to you the importance of going down on your girl.

Admittedly, I used to hate it because the vagina tasted nasty to me. I first went down on a girl maybe the third or fourth time I had sex. I still recall being put off by a sour, bitter taste. It was quick and unpleasant; after about 30 seconds, I gagged and nearly threw up. This experience was so gruesome that I made a conscious effort to avoid even coming close to trying it again in my following sex adventures.

I now find this excuse ridiculous. Yes, pussy is an acquired taste — but an alluring one due to the sexual excitement and stimulation it brings out in women. I found the act gradually more and more appealing after noticing the pleasure it provides the ladies. Plus, the sheer fact that I am able to further control her sexual gratification turns me on.

My first time going down under was rather awkward, as expected. I remember it being in her room when her family was home. We did not want to have sex because we would have been too loud, so we settled for some french kissing, fingering and other shenanigans. Finally, after taking off her clothes, I slowly worked my way down south. Not knowing what I was doing, I explored her lower region but was dismayed to find her less than amused, let alone pleased. It wasn’t until I watched some porn (#porniseducational) that I found out you were supposed to use your tongue and that there isn’t just one place to lick.

After extensive research — and a few partners — I was able to test my newfound abilities. One specific partner was an oral-sex virgin herself, so we attacked the learning curve together. I tried different techniques during foreplay. It was a long process, but, as with most things, practice led to progress.

What I do now varies from woman to woman, but for the most part, I start with the same technique. Women are able to experience a series of internal and external orgasms that are triggered by different parts of the female sexual anatomy. Performing oral sex on a woman is all about carefully working the outer parts. The best and most obvious place to start is the clitoris — the protruding bundle of nerves located above the vagina at the top of the labia. Essentially with its sole biological purpose being for pleasure, it can easily be stimulated by gentle and rapid flicks of the tongue. It is best excited by being sucked on and licked in circular motions. Another receptive spot is within the vagina itself, best stimulated by licking in a bottom-up motion.

You know your technique is successful when her vagina becomes progressively more lubricated and she moans with pleasure. If you have done an incredible job, she might even grab your hair, arch her back and screech in ecstasy. But don’t be alarmed if none of these things seem to be happening. All women have different sexual triggers that require different amounts of stimulation, and all women express pleasure differently.

Not just women, but people in general have multiple pleasure spots and regions that, if stimulated properly, will make them orgasm. It is important to know that traditional missionary-style sex is not the only way to get a woman to climax.

I haven’t ever received much feedback or guidance on my performance in terms of verbal communication from partners, but, through trial and error, I have been able to notice different effects from the various techniques I’ve discovered.

I have come to learn that performing oral sex on women is an essential part of foreplay that improves both partners’ experiences just by helping to get women in the mood. Now, I find myself craving the taste I was at first repulsed by; I voluntarily go down on every woman I have sex with, regardless of whether she blows me or not. Nonetheless, I know there are guys out there who still believe that all pussies are, for lack of a better word, gross.

Which leads me to my sex tip of the week: Some sweet foods are aphrodisiacs that can be used like a chaser to contrast what can literally be a bitter experience going down. My favorite is whipped cream, because it’s soft, light and not too difficult to clean up. Try spraying it on her erogenous zone and licking it off as you explore her body. But always make sure to properly wash up after you’re finished.

So get practicing, my friends: A new world of orgasms awaits you.

Brett Tanonaka writes the weekly Sex on Tuesday column. You can contact him at [email protected].

APRIL 17, 2015